Notes From an Average Girl // Strawberry daiquiris with a side of anxiety

Over spring break, my brother got married in Punta Cana, so I spent a week at a resort with all the family and friends that are closest to me. That sounds great in theory until you factor in that I’m graduating in December and have no plans. 

Picture this — I’m sitting in a lounge chair by the pool, strawberry daiquiri in hand, attempting to relax. Then, a relative approaches me. I smile, hoping they’ll notice I’m not trying to chat. They don’t get the hint. “Hi, Madi. I hear you’re graduating soon. What are your plans?” And there you have it. In three short sentences, my relaxation has vanished. I left campus hoping that spring break would provide some much-needed de-stressing, so the constant reminder of the exact thing I was trying to escape left me frustrated. I returned to campus more worked up than when I left. 

I’m graduating a semester early, but my parents generously offered to continue paying my rent into the spring semester. That gives me time to spend one last semester with my friends, begin the job hunt and hopefully figure my life out. Though, the latter seems quite unlikely considering I’ve been trying — unsuccessfully — to do that for the last three years.

When I brought this up to the people who asked about my post-grad plans, it was returned with “Ah, so you get to enjoy the college life without doing the college part?” This isn’t untrue, but it’s also not the whole truth. If I had the option between staying for the spring semester or getting a job in something I enjoy, I would choose the job. The uncertainty of my future is not something I’m happy about. I don’t want to stick around campus after graduation. I want to move on with my life. Right now, this just seems like my best option. 

Around 52% of graduates who earned a bachelor’s degree end up underemployed a year after graduation. I personally know a lot of people who struggled to find their footing after graduating. If so many people have similar struggles to me, then why do I feel like a failure when I can’t answer a question about my future plans? 

There’s a lot of stigma around post-grad plans, especially when graduating with a humanities degree, which many people disapprove of for not being practical. I’d like to say I don’t regret my choice, but maybe if I’d listened when people tried to tell me which degrees get jobs, I wouldn’t have these feelings. I followed my heart rather than my head, and I’m scared it misled me.

I can’t dwell on the past, and I shouldn’t dwell on the future — although I do. My annoyance with my family during spring break was only temporary. As I reflect on it, my mindset is changing. Post-grad is a difficult time for many students, but I’m lucky enough to have a lot of support from friends and family. They ask because they care. I only wished I realized this while sitting poolside with my strawberry daiquiri.