Littman: A look at the upcoming year in sports

The end of each year consistently brings countless recaps of that year’s most memorable… The end of each year consistently brings countless recaps of that year’s most memorable moments. The start of each year, however, is less prone to offer previews for the upcoming year.

While fellow columnist Greg Trietley did a swell job predicting the upcoming decade in sports, I felt like he skimmed over 2010 just a bit. Luckily, I had some free time and decided to let The Pitt News’ faithful readers know what, in my expert opinion, they can expect in sports from now until December.

For the first time ever, the NFL Pro Bowl is played the week before the Super Bowl as opposed to the week after. This means no players on either Super Bowl-qualifying team can actually play in the game. In addition, the Pro Bowl is moved from its traditional venue in Hawaii to the same city where the Super Bowl is held. Because of this, most remaining players drop out of the game for various “injuries” leaving just Wes Welker to show up ready to play.

While the Vikings don’t make the Super Bowl, Brett Favre still gets to go as The Who hire him to be their youth consultant, in charge of helping the famed rockers appeal to the kids. His advice: Get a pair of Wrangler jeans and then back out of the deal and hold out for the Grey Cup halftime gig instead. The Who don’t listen, instead opting to appeal to the youth by smashing their instruments. After doing this, the NFL immediately offers an apology and announces Barry Manilow as next year’s halftime performer, leaving my mom as one of 12 people in America happy with the decision.

NBC sends Jay Leno to Vancouver to broadcast the Winter Olympics.

In March, actor Jean-Claude Van Damme fights Thailand’s Olympic gold medal boxer Somluck Kamsing in a Muay Thai match in Las Vegas. Despite Van Damme’s fighting background and outstanding nickname, the Muscles from Brussels can’t beat Kamsing, who won gold in the 1996 Olympic games and is 11 years younger than the actor. Van Damme, in the only logical step from there, starts working on the screenplay for the next “Street Fighter” movie.

Kentucky wins the NCAA Tournament and star freshman John Wall leaves to be the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft. Shortly after, the countdown begins until the Wildcats face recruiting violations, and John Calipari leaves for another school, not necessarily in that order.

After a terrible accident with a tanning bed, Snooki is mistaken for Otto the Orange.

After leaving Southern California for his second foray into the NFL, this time with the Seattle Seahawks, Pete Carroll will face much difficulty in finding success. It won’t be because of an aging roster, though. Instead, Carroll finds working around the smaller salary cap he has with the Seahawks very constricting when assembling his team.

On June 11, the World Cup starts in South Africa, but hardly anyone notices as the entire world is still hung over from the Winter Olympics.

During the World Cup, ESPN debuts its 3D netword that allows fans to watch sports from home in 3D. The technology is so outstanding that when mixed with hefty prices of attending sporting events live, more sports fans opt to stay home. This creates a world where fans can watch sporting events from home in 3D on beautiful HDTVs, but only a handful of people are actually sitting in the stadium. This phenomenon was previously known as watching a Pirates game.

Tiger Woods plays golf. Lots of people take pictures.

Looking for some public goodwill, Gilbert Arenas gives the commencement speech at the University of Tennessee. He’s re-instated for the 2010-11 NBA season. After being fouled hard while driving to the hoop, Arenas stands up and whips a crossbow out of his shorts. He’s suspended once again.

Aroldis Chapman, the 22-year-old Cuban pitcher who fled his country last year and signed with the Reds on a five-year $30 million contract last week, turns 27 by the end of the year.

Ex-college football coaches Jim Leavitt, formerly of South Florida, and Mike Leach, formerly of Texas Tech, aren’t hired by any other schools. With nowhere else to turn, the two team up for a buddy cop show where they play two ruthless officers who stop at nothing to solve numerous crimes. The climax of each episode occurs when, after using clues to lead them to a suspect, Leach throws the previously tight-lipped bad guy into the “Interrogation Pit,” a dark hole in the ground, and Levitt beats the criminal senseless until he gets answers. The show features regular guest spots from Kansas State basketball coach Frank Martin and Tom Cable. Its working title is “Police Cluetality.”

Even though he played just a total of 10 minutes in the Boston Celtics NBA Finals victory against the Lakers, Rasheed Wallace still walks around with a replica WWE title belt next season. A jealous Pau Gasol tries to hit Wallace in the head with a chair, but while trying to stop him Kevin Garnett accidentally rips Gasol’s arm off.