Stahl: How to throw a successful soiree

So you’ve decided to welcome your fellow peersinto your home for a little soiree. Whether… So you’ve decided to welcome your fellow peersinto your home for a little soiree. Whether you’re shooting for a tame evening of wine and board games or an all-out night of mayhem, there are a few things you should know. There are four main components to throwing a good party: people, ambience, music and alcohol.

Most of these rules are not applicable to frat parties, which are in an entirely different league. So, sorry I don’t have any tips for you, brothers. Besides, from what I experienced in my underclassman days, it seems like you already have the party-throwing thing under control. (Actually more like, not under control at all … in a good way.)

Let’s start with the pre-event planning. When making that crucial Facebook event, here are some things to keep in mind: Be funny in your description. People will think you’re really cool and inventive and thus think you know how to throw a good rager. Saying, “We’re celebrating Sara’s getting old! She’s finally 19!!!!1!!1!!!” is not going to impress anyone.

Themes are great in theory, but people are usually hesitant to dress up so they don’t look freakishly out of place if they go to another party or bar later in the night. If you don’t mind low levels of enthusiasm, then theme away. “Jersey Shore” parties are all the rage lately, but feel free to be more creative.

Invite more people than you want to come. Most aren’t going to show up. We live in Oakland, after all. It’s easy to get distracted and no one likes walking more than two blocks so there’s a good chance they won’t make it. But people will feel good about being invited. So just do it. If someone you don’t like shows up, introduce them to someone else you don’t like very much. Maybe they’ll hit it off and credit you with matchmaking prowess.

On the day of your party, try to straighten up your house a little bit. I’m not saying go out and buy freshly cut flowers, but make your place seem clean and welcoming. Here’s what’s not ok to use for decorating: Vodka bottles. It’s great that you’re a champion drinker and all (really, you have no idea how much I admire that in a person), but I do not need to find this out through a huge shelf of bottles. Not even if they’re Grey Goose. Not even if they’re some rare flavor of Absolut. The only thing that needs to be decorated with empty liquor bottles is your recycling bin. Please and thank you.

No one wants to get inebriated under fluorescent lighting. It’s unflattering and impedes your odds of getting laid. Lose the overhead lights and turn on a lamp or two.

Make sure your iPod is in tip-top shape. Depending on what kind of crowd you’re catering to, you can pick from a few different genres. The top 40 pop/hip-hop stuff is always important. You’ll probably get a lot of complaints if you don’t have the full Lady Gaga catalog readily available. Add a few of your favorite ’90s songs if you want people to get nostalgic. If you have pretentious friends, throw in some Passion Pit and MGMT.

Last, but certainly not least, is the booze. This is perhaps the most crucial component of any college party — if you are of legal age and you enjoy drinking, of course. It allows us young academics to become exactly the type of person we regret being. Of course it’s entirely possible to have fun without liquor, but sometimes it’s a little easier with it.

The decision about whether or not to supply booze is tricky. We are all broke college students, so you have two options. You can either buy supplies and charge people a few bucks at the door, or go for the BYOB.

If you want to get kegs, my friend Kevin who, along with his army of roommates, has been known to throw a pretty epic party, recommends that you buy two. You’ll have just enough beer and won’t have to worry about losing a lot of money.

For the BYOB types, it’s nice if you do provide one drink for your guests. Jello shots are a big crowd pleaser, but make sure you have some kind of waste receptacle in easy access. Those sticky, empty cups are a pain to pick up the next morning. Follow the directions on the box, but substitute cold vodka for the cup of cold water.

My roommate Kristine created possibly the most lethal way to drink without cringing in the form of a little something called Loopy Lemonade: Fill a glass with ice. Pour a shot and a half of citrus vodka and fill the rest of the glass with Sprite. Add a lemon wedge and a sweetener packet, such as Sweet’N Low. Then just stir and enjoy.

A few important party day extras: Clear out furniture as to have space for a beer pong table. Quarters and flip cup are also ideal for this area. I don’t think I’ve played Kings since 2007, but keep a deck of cards handy for adamant players.

Lock your doors so no one ends up having sex in your bed. But make sure that you don’t hide the key so well that you can’t end up having sex in your bed at the end of the night.

Things are going to break. Things are going to get stolen. It’s unavoidable. So hide your valuables, buckle down, get over it and don’t let lost items ruin your memories — or lack thereof — of an otherwise great night.