Azzara: Missing the mishap and memories of freshman year

There is a certain phrase that carries with it such power and significance that at Pitt,… There is a certain phrase that carries with it such power and significance that at Pitt, sophomores, juniors and seniors alike can be heard uttering it on various occasions. This phrase connotes a strong sense of superiority and self-congratulation to the speaker while shaming the subject to an extreme degree. The phrase? “That’s so freshman year.”

If you aren’t guilty of saying it yourself, you’ve probably heard it around campus. There’s just something so satisfying about not being a freshman, even if ­— like me — you’re a sophomore, which is only one small step away.

The ability to attribute any and all embarrassing, immature or just plain silly behavior to freshmen is a small sort of triumph for older students. And being able to dismiss certain things — attending frat parties, eating at Market Central and traveling in giant packs — as being “so freshman year” seems to give us non-freshmen an inexplicable sense of satisfaction. But while we recognize the need to construct our identities against lowly freshmen, most of us have yet to realize exactly why this is so necessary.

I have a theory. Listen closely, freshmen, because I’m about to let you in on a secret: We older students envy you.

Sure, there are benefits to being a non-freshman. We finally get the freedom to move off campus, but that comes with the added stress of monthly payments and navigating the Oakland loop.

In reality, we miss living in Towers and busing everywhere — especially those of us who now have to deal with rent and parking. In all honesty, the best thing about not being a freshman is probably making fun of those who are.

For us non-freshman, gone are the days of walking downstairs and grabbing a pre-made grilled cheese sandwich at midnight. As much as I hate to admit it, going to Market Central is a special treat these days. Not only does it bring back fond memories of freshman year, but it also means we don’t have to cook.

We even miss experiences that once seemed disastrous but are now dear memories, such as being stranded in the freezing cold for hours at the Waterfront, SouthSide Works or Kennywood — and the list goes on — waiting for a bus.

The end of freshman year can be traumatizing, and being a sophomore is odd in that you no longer have a distinct place within the college world the way that freshmen do. You are forced to enter into a strange sort of Friday-night limbo between being too old for fraternity parties and too young for bars.

We become slightly lost, and we choose to embrace our memories of freshman year. We try wishing them back into existence, because wishing to be older would mean being closer to graduating — something that no college student really wants. We all miss being freshmen as we creep closer and closer to entering the real world and make decisions about courses, majors and careers.

So my advice to freshmen is to live it up while you can. Rather than being embarrassed by the fact that you’re a first-year student at Pitt, take advantage of your desirable position. Don’t worry about the real world, your major or graduation. There will be plenty of time for that in the coming years.

It’s OK if you make a fool out of yourself or act immature, because, after all, you’re just a freshman. The rest of us have no excuses. And if we snicker at you and say, “He must be a freshman,” when you ask for directions, or use the classic line “That’s so freshman year,” when discussing plans for the weekend, don’t be offended. Be flattered instead. We’re just jealous.

On textsfromlastnight.com, I once read a particularly compelling entry that said something along the lines of, “I spent all day watching freshmen move in and yelling ‘Trade lives with me!’” I totally get where this anonymous texter was coming from. He must be one of the lost, confused, envious upperclassmen.

Freshmen, I think we’d all trade lives with you if we could, myself included. So — any takers?

E-mail Katie at kna6@pitt.edu.