Casual Fridays

Bullet-proof bra

A woman from Rio de Janeiro got the true value out of her Wonderbra this week. The underwire of Ivete Medeiros’ bra was the only thing standing between her chest and a bullet when she was shot outside a Belem market. A thief holding up a passerby on the street opened fire, and a bullet struck Medeiros under her left breast. Protected by some extra padding, her bra supported her in her time of need. Authorities say that the thief in question has been bust-ed.

Ear-rational Rodent

On Groundhog Day, Wisconsin’s mildly famous groundhog Jimmy was a bit hungry after being stirred from his hibernation for his big moment. Jimmy was sick of living in Punxsutawney Phil’s shadow, so he gave the press something to remember. This feisty rodent bit the mayor’s ear after his handlers held him too close to the mayor’s head. When asked for comment, the mayor said he had his Phil of groundhog for the year.

Red in the face

Voldemort’s got some competition in the nose department. Thirty-seven-year-old Henry Damon, of Venezuela, has had several procedures to make himself look like Red Skull, the villain from Captain America. He has several subdermal implants in his forehead, all-black contacts, silicone implants in his chin and cheeks, his face tattoed red and, now, he has had his nose completely removed. While he may look unusual, a friend that nose him best said he was “an excellent son, husband and father.” In fact, his wife said he looked Marvel-ous.

Peasants on a Plane

Paris Hilton isn’t the only one living the “Simple Life” anymore. Her younger brother, Conrad Hilton, was arrested this week for flipping out on an airplane last July. Drugged out on marijuana, sleeping pills and a superiority complex, Hilton punched the bulkhead of the plane, called the passengers peasants and threatened to “f*cking rip through” the staff. It turned out Hilton was going to California to serf. When asked for comment, Paris Hilton said, “That’s hot.”

Separation of church and taste

As an atheist, Trevor McKendrick just doesn’t have faith in religion, but he does have faith in money. Divine inspiration led McKendrick to create a Spanish audio bible app for the iPhone. McKendrick says he believes that what he sells is fiction. Opponents call him a hypocrite, especially the Catholic Church, which McKendrick managed to beat at their own game.