Trietley: Make sure to appease league sponsors if you’re going to celebrate in the NFL

Brent Celek had a little captain in him.

After catching an 11-yard touchdown pass from Donovan McNabb last Sunday night, Celek raised one knee, placed his hand on his hip and gazed pensively into the sky: the Captain Morgan pose.

Fun, clever and rating: about a three on the originality scale, the league promptly warned the tight end never to do it again and threatened a $10,000 fine to any player who will do it in the future.

I assumed the league wanted to prevent Celek from promoting alcohol consumption, or something along those lines, but that reasoning made sense only until I was reminded of Bud Light’s drinkability during the next commercial break.

No, NFL officials put the kibosh on Celek’s celebration when they learned that Captain Morgan’s parent company, Diageo, planned a viral marketing campaign where the rum distributor would donate money to charity each time a player struck the pose.

There’s a lesson to be learned here, Brent. If you want to promote a brand during your touchdown celebrations, promote the right brand.

The official beer of the NFL, Brent, is Coors Light. Utilize this. The next time you pick up your blocking assignment on a blitzing linebacker, take a moment to serenade McNabb with the beer company’s “Wingman” song.

“I’m taking one for the team,” you will sing. “So my buddy can run the screen. Wingman!”

Later, Brent, you can crack open your IBM laptop with its new, long-lasting lithium-ion battery technology and splice together some press conference clips of league officials reacting to your celebration. The humorous 30-second video will run every Sunday.

If the Philadelphia Eagles make it past the NFC Championship game this year, Brent, remember that Anheuser-Busch is the official beer sponsor of the Super Bowl.

Have some Clydesdales pull you around in a buggy during the 40-minute pregame ceremony. At halftime, sing “Real Men of Genius” with Bon Jovi, honoring Mr. No-Spill Lid Inventor Guy.

If you win the Super Bowl, Brent, don’t forget to proclaim, “I’m going to Disneyland!”

Disney has a deal with the NFL to work this into every Super Bowl postgame celebration, and you’d better not disappoint Mickey Mouse. I don’t care if you want to go to Legoland.

Even if you’re losing the game, dump some Gatorade on coach Andy Reid before the final whistle blows. It’s refreshing, energizing and a shade of deep purple. Make sure you hold the cooler so the cameras can catch the lightning bolt logo.

Just don’t do what Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher did.

Two years ago, Urlacher received a $100,000 fine for wearing a Vitaminwater hat during Super Bowl XLI’s media day because the brand was not an official sponsor of the NFL. That’s not G, Brian. That’s not even close to being G.

Coca-Cola owns Vitaminwater, Brian, and you should know by now that Pepsi is the official soft drink of the NFL. That means no polar bears, no Mean Joe Greene and definitely no nostalgia. Think young.

Too many players are making simple mistakes.

Joe Horn’s fine for his 2003 cell phone celebration didn’t happen because it was an excessive celebration. He used a TracFone. Verizon, Joe. Verizon.

Terrell Owens knows what he’s doing. Brent, Brian, Joe, you guys need to learn from him.

Remember the 2002 Sharpie incident, when he pulled a marker from his sock and signed the ball? A year later, Sharpie used Owens to endorse a school supplies promotion.

Brent, on your next touchdown, use a Sharpie to sign your authentic Reebok jersey and mail it with FedEx overnight — FedEx, the Official Worldwide Delivery Service Sponsor of the NFL — to the GoDaddy.com girl.

Just don’t strike a pose.