Tybout: Picking the best of Dickens’ “Carol” adaptations

A little more than 150 years ago, one the world’s greatest writers penned a novella about an… A little more than 150 years ago, one the world’s greatest writers penned a novella about an old, hardened soul finding kindness in humanity before it’s too late. Now, all across the country, we tell the story to our children and grandchildren through literature, musicals and movies — even VH1 specials.

What Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is to music, Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” is to film — a work that’s been covered enough times that it’s lost almost all of its appeal. There are “Carols” for Dickens lovers, “Carols” for cynics, “Carols” for families, “Carols” for people who don’t like Christmas carols and, most recently, “Carols” for people who enjoy creepy performance-capture technology.

Just look at this year’s releases: the previously alluded-to Robert Zemeckis’ “A Christmas Carol” and Mark Waters’ “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.” That’s two new takes on the story in the span of one year. And while I haven’t seen either of them, their trailers were enough to convince me of their suffocating lameness.

Now, I know you must be thinking, “I love ‘A Christmas Carol,’ but I hate terrible remakes. If only someone had a list of the top three ‘Christmas Carol’ movies so I wouldn’t have to sift through all that crap …”

Well, you’re in luck. I happen to possess a foolproof list of the top three contemporary “Christmas Carol” adaptations since 1970.

3) “A Christmas Carol” (1984), starring George C. Scott. This is the fundamentalist’s “Christmas Carol” — a movie that takes Dickens’ each and every word literally, as if attempting some History Channel recreation of reality. But its strength lies not in its impeccable reading, but in its Ebenezer Scrooge: George C. Scott, aka Gen. Patton, aka All-Around Man’s Man. Scott exudes an austere cold that the real Scrooge would admire. Even his muttonchops are sinister. This is that rare made-for-TV movie that actually trumps most of its cinematic counterparts in quality.

2) “Scrooged” (1988), starring Bill Murray. Murray has always been one of my favorite comedic actors, and here he makes a humorous, if less than evil, Ebenezer Scrooge (or, in this film, Frank Cross). This is one of those “modern” takes on “A Christmas Carol,” where Marley is a media mogul, the Ghost of Christmas Past is a cab driver, and the Ghost of Christmas Future is the craziest thing you’ll ever see. It’s by no means a perfect movie, but in terms of adaptations, it’s at the high end of enjoyability.

1) “The Muppet Christmas Carol” (1992), starring Michael Caine. Too often, people worry about making an “authentic” Christmas Carol, which usually means a dark, morose, funless affair. Director Brian Henson knew better. From the sets to the characters (both puppet and human) to the memorable song numbers, this movie delights in the story rather than worships it. And Caine is arguably the best Scrooge ever — I’ve never seen a man hurl a puppet to the ground with such iron abandon.

The fact of the matter is, this is by far my favorite “Christmas Carol,” and even if they made a better one, I wouldn’t admit it, because I grew up with this one. So if you don’t trust me — the obstinate movie critic — trust me the uncorrupted little kid: This is the one that will make you excited to wake up on Christmas morning again.

You’re welcome to ignore this list at your own risk. Just don’t come complaining to me when your Christmas is ruined by the “Alvin and the Chipmunks” version.