The importance of keeping high school friends

It’s important to keep in touch with your high school friends throughout college.

I may have teared up saying goodbye to my best friends last summer before I started my freshman year at Pitt. I wasn’t going to see them for another four months — which felt like forever at the time. “We’ll keep in touch!” “I’ll call and text you everyday!” “I’m going to miss you so much!” we said to each other tearfully.

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with,” meaning that the people we surround ourselves with make us who we are. I owe a lot to my high school friends. They supported me throughout my hardest classes, they helped me find activities I truly enjoyed and they’ve even encouraged me to follow through with my dream of going to medical school. I dreaded the last day of summer before we left for college. College just seemed so uncertain while everything at home seemed so comfortable.

In 2011, the American College Health Association–National College Health Assessment found that about 30 percent of college students reported feeling “so depressed that it was difficult to function” at some time in the past year. It’s true that college can get overwhelming with the pressure of keeping a high GPA, the endless applications to resumé-building internships and the little time you have to get a good night’s rest. Sharing these daily stresses with your friends may not seem that important, but in the long run, it helps a lot with keeping a positive outlook on life when things get hard.

All of us are guilty of being too busy and forgetting to respond to texts every once in a while. My first week of freshman year, I was shuffled from event to event, barely having enough time to check my phone and respond until I was in bed at night. Once classes started, it became even more of a chore to balance my high school friends with my classes, homework and new friends.

 I found excuses for not replying. “Sorry, I was in class the whole day!” or “My phone died!” I felt like my high school friends were from a completely different part of my life from which I just wanted to distance myself. I was surrounded by so many new people that I ended up spending more time making new friends than keeping up with my old ones — and enjoying it. My high school friends were joining new clubs, seeing new sights and making new friends — just like me. We just didn’t prioritize each other anymore.

Yet once the semester ended and I went back home for winter break, I realized my high school friends were the only friends I had. As much as I love free food, a large bed and having my car with me, things weren’t the same without my friends. I felt this difference right away and immediately texted them to let them know I missed them and wanted to see them. After all, you should never trade high school friends for college counterparts, sincemore friends means a healthier life. A research study by the Centre for Ageing Studies showed that people with a large network of friends outlived those with the fewest friends by 22 percent.   

Your high school friends once were one of the biggest parts of your life and shouldn’t be forgotten.

One day, you’re going to check Facebook and see that one of your friends from high school is engaged, or that someone you’ve been meaning to catch up with moved across the country or even that someone you haven’t talked to in years has passed away. 

Sixty-seven percent of social media users report that they use sites like Facebook and Twitter to stay in touch with friends and family members, and about 50 percent use them to reconnect with old friends. There’s a point to the current technology takeover. 

I know it’s hard enough to keep up with your own life and your own problems while also trying to keep up with everyone else’s. It’s especially hard to keep up with people who you don’t see in person daily. But if you think about it, picking up your phone to hold a conversation with your friend during your 30-minute lunch break is only 2.08 percent of your entire day.

Of all the investments you make in your life, sustaining friendships is the most important. “Friends help you face adverse events,” Sheldon Cohen, a psychology professor at Carnegie Mellon University, said. “They provide material aid, emotional support and information that helps you deal with the stressors. There may be broader effects as well. Friends encourage you to take better care of yourself. And people with wider social networks are higher in self-esteem, and they feel they have more control over their lives.” 

It may take a lot of time and effort, but it’s worth it. No amount of money or success will make up for the loneliness you’ll feel during big events in your life if you have no true friends to celebrate them with.

 Whether it’s sharing a funny video on your friend’s Facebook wall, sending someone a text wishing luck on finals or setting aside time to make a call, just try not to lose one-fifth of who you are.

Cecile Truong primarily writes about social and campus issues for The Pitt News.

Write to Cecile at @cet41@pitt.edu.