Let’s talk about sex: Advice from Antonio and Katie

Dear Antonio and Katie,

I am a freshman who’s still adjusting to “college life,” and it hasn’t been easy. I had a girlfriend since my freshman year of high school, until our breakup right before college, so I am feeling a bit deprived. College is kind of what I expected, but not so “American Pie.” I have been in a rut ever since the breakup and have not been with a single woman since arriving here. So, what can I do to get women’s attention so that I can release some of this sexual tension? I know it sounds like I’m just looking for sex, but I’m a good soul who just needs to blow off a little steam. Please help.

Sincerely,

Sleepless Over Sex 

Dear Sleepless,

You’re a man. Suppressing natural feelings will only lead to more frustration. Be happy that you had your first semester to relax and recharge your batteries. Now, it’s time to shift out of neutral and into “sex drive.” But there are other ways to release your sexual tension without girls. I would probably prescribe a romantic date with your laptop, lotion and tissues. If that won’t suffice, here are some guidelines:

Be respectful: I am not telling you to fake the whole “good guy” routine — you should care enough to get to know her. Ask her about herself, her likes and dislikes. There is no need to hook up with a girl you don’t like. And if she turns you down? Dust yourself off and tell her it was nice meeting her. No matter what happens, end on a good note.

Trigger your inner alpha male: Oh boy. This one’s a biggie. There are two types of men in this world: alphas and betas. Alphas are cool, calm and collected, looking women directly in the eye. However, beta males nervously look away. An alpha will have a plan, but a beta will say “I don’t care where we go,” and “I want to do whatever you want to do.” Take charge and be the alpha you were born to be.

Be confident, not cocky: you are not above her. Never brag about your old high school football days, how many beers you can chug or how many notches you have on the belt. This will turn her off immediately.  Trust in yourself and your own abilities, and you will be golden.

Real courage is being yourself in a world full of people too afraid to be genuine. So shine those shoes, throw on a nice shirt and understand that when you put your mind to it, you are unstoppable, kid. Oh yeah, don’t forget to use a condom, or we’re going to have a whole ‘nother bag of issues.

Wrap It Up,

Antonio Blundo 

Twitter- @TonyxMafia

Email- ajb195@pitt.edu

Dear Sleepless,

The thing nobody ever tells you is that freshman year, for the most part, sucks. College truly is no “Animal House.” 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get laid. Sex is fun. It boosts your mood, relieves stress, burns some calories. It’s human nature to want it — unless you’re a woman — because then you’re considered a slut. But I digress.

Personally, I’m into a guy who’s confident, intelligent, kind, creative and funny. A lot of girls I know agree with this — these are important qualities to have in yourself, so we naturally seek them out in others. 

Be interesting, be unique, be passionate. Have distinct interests and tastes. You’ll be much more attractive to a girl if you show her that you’re interesting. But don’t be fake. 

Dress well! This is huge. How you present yourself to the world says so much about how you view yourself. Humans are visual creatures, and girls love guys in a good man cardigan. Dressing well signals you have confidence and take risks, and it’s true that confidence really is the biggest turn on. Nothing is sexier than a guy who knows what he wants and gets it.

Be genuine — a smart girl can instantly tell if a guy is trying to get in her pants. If it feels like this is a routine and you’re just going through the motions, I’m not into it.

I don’t think you have to like the girl, romantically, to hookup with her. You have to respect her, but you don’t have to love her. If you just want to get laid, I don’t think there is anything wrong with hooking up for fun if everyone is on the same page. Girls like sex, too! Sex is great with someone you love, but it can also be fun with no strings attached. 

But if you don’t like her: don’t cuddle after, don’t stay over, don’t kiss her goodbye. Text her if you want but not because you feel like you have to. These things blur the line between casual and serious and tread into relationship-type-activities territory. You can still be a gentleman without being misleading. 

Here’s my parting advice: when you find yourself with freshman year out of your system, and you meet a girl that you like, let her know. Our generation is too afraid of putting themselves in vulnerable positions and saying how they feel. No one wants to make the first move — and that’s stupid. If you want to talk to a girl, talk to her. And look her in the eye.

Good luck,

Katie McGrath

twitter: @katiemmcgrath

email: kmm214@pitt.edu