Trietley: Let’s take a look at the NFL in 2020

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell recently announced his desire to play more regular season games… NFL commissioner Roger Goodell recently announced his desire to play more regular season games in London. New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft thinks the city could support a franchise within 10 years.

A decade from now, the NFL might look very different.

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EA Sports releases Madden NFL ’20 on the Xbox 1080, a game revolutionary for its “super truck stick” button. The computer player still doesn’t understand what zone defense is, though.

Owners and players still feel the impact of both the 2011 lockout, which the owners won, and the 2017 strike, which the players won. All contracts now include the infamous “I can’t believe the owners conceded this to us” clause, which allows every player to demand a trade to the Giants halfway through his college sophomore season.

The salary cap is long forgotten, left for dead at the 2011 bargaining table. As a result, a few teams struggle to earn revenue in their markets.

The Buffalo Bills have relocated to Toronto and have become the Toronto Bills, which fans note makes little sense but still more sense than the franchise keeping the Buffalo logo.

The St. Louis Rams, which Rush Limbaugh briefly owned in 2014, moved to Mexico City and became the Carneros.

Los Angeles finally finds a team when a local politician notices that the part of the map that had “avert your eyes!” written on it was actually the Oakland Raiders. Al Davis, long unhappy in Oakland, gladly packs up his windbreakers and moves the team to Hollywood.

With all the franchise relocation, Goodell will calm every fan’s fear that his team is next, boldly claiming that every franchise is deeply rooted in its current home, and there will be no further relocation.

Hours later, the Baltimore Ravens pack up under the cover of darkness in Mayflower moving vans and move to London. Just as Baltimore named its team after an Edgar Allan Poe poem, London names its team the Rowlings and casts Daniel Radcliffe — not Harry Potter, just the actor who played him — as its mascot.

Shortly thereafter, Goodell announces his plans for a full division overseas. He calls it “European NFL,” or, as the press dubbed it, “NFL Europe.”

Strapped for cash after the 2017 strike, Goodell opts to reuse old Rhein Fire and Frankfurt Galaxy jerseys. For ease, the league just places franchises in Rhein and Frankfurt and pretends that the old NFL Europe never folded in the first place. Most fans buy it.

A few players will opt out of their “I can’t believe the owners conceded this to us” clause and sign overseas. The group will consist mainly of offensive linemen, backup running backs and Tarvaris Jackson, but rumors of an aging Tom Brady signing with Olympiakos for $50 million per season persist.

Speaking of aging quarterbacks, Brett Favre finally retires in 2015. Several times.

Reports last summer indicated that Los Carneros de Ciudad de México remain close to signing Favre, and several major networks state that he has been practicing at the local colegio for weeks.

The United States, fresh off winning the 2018 World Cup, finally embraces soccer. Consequently, the term “football” will become a source of confusion. Congress motions to align with the world and call soccer “football,” but most Americans decide they like “soccer” better and still don’t know what a cubic centimeter is.

The UFL still exists. The league rapidly grew during the 2011 lockout and 2017 strike. The champion of the UFL — the Las Vegas Locomotives, again — and the champion of the NFL — the Detroit Lions, again — meet for the first time in the “Grande Bowl,” duly named to appease a growing Latino fanbase and coined after the popular fast-food option.

Talks of a merger between the two leagues heat up when the Locomotives, led by their brazen quarterback with wild hair and a proclivity for fur suits, defeat the Lions, 16-7.

Unfortunately, discussions go by the wayside when NFL Europe encounters problems. Too few players want to move across the Atlantic, and the expansion project’s flimsy foundation caves in when the old jerseys start to tatter. The Rhein Fire and Frankfurt Galaxy quietly fade away, and Tarvaris Jackson sign back in the New World with Los Carneros, who promise him the starting job.

When the franchise brings in Favre halfway through training camp, though, Jackson is quickly moved to the bench.

Some things never change.