Gerecht: Taking a pledge for the betterment of self

As college students, we are constantly being pulled, yanked, dragged and pushed in a trillion… As college students, we are constantly being pulled, yanked, dragged and pushed in a trillion different directions.

That statement is so universally acknowledged and agreed upon, it practically qualifies for a “Most Obvious Declaration of the Year” award — second, maybe, to “men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.”

But life gets a little fuzzier when we stop to ask, can we demand to stay still? Can we demand what we want before satisfying the wants of others? What if that means disrespecting them or, in the least, hurting their feelings?

Is it ever more responsible to just ignore them all?

Like many of us, I’m torn between the needs of myself and the wants of others in virtually every aspect of my life. Especially as a senior, with graduation looming on the other side of another gray Pittsburgh winter, these are questions I think about constantly.

I’m at a point in my college career where I’m lucky enough to have a job that actually relates to my long-term goals. Yet, I can’t always put work first.

At age 21, I look back on a long history with my friends from home. But I’ve formed family-tight bonds with my friends in college, and I often find that I relate to them much better.

I’m passionate about my involvement in extracurricular activities, but my commitments often overlap, and they almost always overlap with time I also could spend studying (or sleeping).

In these drastic times, I’m calling for drastic measures.

I’m taking a pledge.

And I’m positive I’m not the only college kid who needs to make this effort. You, too, can join me in stating:

I pledge to put myself first — not always, but more frequently.

I pledge not to go out of my way for any friends I know would not go out of their way for me. But I also pledge to risk life and limb for the friends who would, and sometimes already have, risk their lives, limbs and reputations for me.

I pledge to accept the belief that I “need” my friends only in the case of injury, death or a very serious breakup.

I pledge to accept the belief that when they’re busy and I’m bored, when they’re tired and I’m energetic, when they have two midterms coming up and I have none, I do not “need” them — in the hopes that they see things the same way.

I pledge to establish life goals that incorporate the values of adults around me, like my parents, but ultimately, I pledge to chase my own dreams.

I pledge not to be rude, condescending or fake toward old friends from whom I may have moved on.

I pledge to turn down nights in someone’s basement that make time stand still.

I pledge to remember that no one is better than anyone else, but that my time is valuable to me.

I pledge to work the number of hours per week that I need and that I can handle.

I pledge to study the way that works for me, even if that means spending the night locked in my bedroom rather than goofing off in the common area with my roommates or engaging in group study sessions at “Club Hillman.”

I pledge to keep the sacrifices necessary to keep up any college relationship — within reason. I pledge to be understanding, compassionate and flexible without being miserable. I pledge to be complacent, not abused.

I pledge to make time for what I like to do, even if that means picking up a baseball when there are flashcards to flip through or reading a magazine instead of a textbook before bed.

I pledge to do my laundry, go to the grocery store and stop by the computer lab when needed, instead of putting personal errands at the bottom of the priority list under “Tack up flyers with Susie” and “Respond to e-mails.”

I pledge not to respond to e-mails. Well, not immediately, anyway.

Yes, these statements are idealistic. But that’s sort of the job of any pledge, don’t you think? If our goals aren’t high, our achievements never will be. Dream big, I say. And maybe they’re also pretty selfish, but maybe not. As college students, what we want matters. It can’t always come first, but it can’t always come last.

So, where I once believed, “The least I can do is X, Y and Z for them,” I now believe, “The least I can do is protect my health, happiness and safety by asserting my own self-worth.”

Without abandoning or ignoring those around me, whenever possible, I pledge to consider what’s best for me.

E-mail Carolyn your pledge at Carolyn.gerecht@gmail.com.