Littman: Steroids can save baseball

Professional baseball has some problems.

Many fear younger generations aren’t getting into baseball and the sport is slowing dying out. A few reasons people fear this include the extensive length of games, the lack of exciting action, competition from other sports — football, and to an extent basketball, have grown more popular — and, as always, people like to write eulogies.

The real issue with baseball is that its popularity is waning in the United States. While attendance figures are up, it’s just not as significant to our society as it used to be. In places like Latin America and Japan, baseball is thriving, and that’s evident just by looking at the top talent in the majors.

Still, Americans like to root for Americans. Baseball might not be an Olympic sport anymore, but we have the World Baseball Classic, and we want to see our country win the prestigious event. So then something needs to be done to get younger generations of kids back on the baseball diamond, and I know exactly what that is.

We need a sequel to the Steroids Era in Major League Baseball.

Sure, some think the era isn’t over, since we still don’t know every player that used steroids, players who most likely used them in the past are still playing or because players are still getting caught using them.

Because steroids are on everyone’s mind, now is the time to strike. Steroids might be the vampires of sports. They’ll get kids talking and excited about sports. And as Greg Maddux said in an old commercial, “Chicks dig the long ball.” Inject Ryan Braun with some steroids and he might become baseball’s Robert Pattinson.

Sure, some might not agree with bringing back steroids, but remember how fun they were? They made baseball more fan-interactive than it had ever been.

The best part of the Steroid Era is that fans got to be detectives. Hey, in 1996 the Orioles’ Brady Anderson hit 50 home runs. Primarily a leadoff hitter, Anderson’s previous career high was 21 home runs back in 1992. His highest total after 1996 came in 1999 when he hit 24. Those were the only three years he hit more than 20 home runs during his 15-year career. Well, that’s peculiar. Steroids! Case closed!

Then there was Luis Gonzalez, who turned 30 never hitting more than 15 home runs in a season. His homer totals in his first few years after turning 30: 23, 26, 31 and 57. That last year was 2001, the same year he and the Diamondbacks won the World Series. Hmm, you think steroids had anything to do with that? Book ‘em, Danno!

Put steroids back in the game and just wait to see what fading stars have a career resurgence or what player in his early 30s finally makes the majors after a decade in the minors. Then it would be up to us, the fans, to decide whether it was done naturally or with some of that oh-so-sweet injected assistance.

During Steroids Era I, any game gave you the chance to strain your neck trying to follow each gargantuan blast. Each season there was a race to see which number was higher: home runs a player hit in one season vs. pounds of muscle they put on since the previous season.

So why not bring that back? In fact, get in on this texting fad all the kids like. Some networks try it already by having fans text in their votes for player of the game, but that’s not enough. Why not have fans vote on which aging star will be forced to take steroids in hopes of revitalizing his career?

What’s that, Ivan Rodriguez is a shell of his former self? He’s one of the greatest catchers ever. Get him a syringe and some make-me-strong juice! Jason Giambi has been relegated to coming off the bench? Unacceptable, somebody flash the Steroid Signal, a giant light in the shape of a flexed bicep that shines over Gotham City, and get that former-MVP some liquid confidence!

It didn’t only make the sport exciting because of home runs, though. We also got ’roid rage. Since strict testing began, we haven’t had one pitcher throw a broken bat at a batter, like Roger Clemens did to Mike Piazza in a 2000 World Series game. Clemens was a winner for his legendary work ethic, but he was entertaining because he was insane. Steroids will give us our new Clemens.

Perhaps baseball’s only chance is to force steroids back into the league. As fans, don’t we want to see a home run hit into 2011?

And if baseball isn’t going to do that, the least it could do is show some respect to its savior, Sir Jose Canseco.