Green demands cat therapy at Pitt

It’s hard to be a cat person in a dog-person world.

Everywhere you can see the overwhelmingly dog-loving influence. Pet-related billboards, advertisements or photographs are more likely to showcase a dog than a cat. Movies like “All Dogs Go to Heaven” and “Cats and Dogs” vilify cats as evil, while glorifying dogs as some furry, drooling Captain America icon.

These images — propaganda, really — further perpetuate the “Dog Complex,” which is quite similar to the “God Complex” in its delusion-to-reality ratio, so that if one does not succumb to canine hegemony, they are thought of as cold, unfeeling people. Or they are told that one day, they will die alone in a dilapidated shack filled with cats, lose all their teeth and perpetually smell of Fancy Feast cat food.

Some people think cats are un-American. Lately I’ve heard the word “socialist” thrown about a bit (admittedly in a joking manner). This is ironic, however, because I just wanted to point out that the supposedly red-white-and-blue-forever dogs are the ones that hunt in packs, share food and tend to one another’s wounds.

Cats are actually very independent animals. They are cunning, and would probably turn on one another to get more food. Cats are self-reliant. It’s actually very American. Dogs, on the other hand, are almost helplessly dependent on their “master.” Also, have you ever heard someone refer to a cat’s owner as his master? If the dog lifestyle isn’t some kind of Pet Welfare, I don’t know what is. They receive all of their food, exercise and medications from its master, i.e., the government. At least cats are capable of catching their own food.

Yes, the tyranny of the dog-obsessed masses is everywhere. The most recent example is the Tuesday night dog-therapy program in the Cathedral of Learning.

I went to this program — dragged unwillingly by my dog-loving “friends,” and let me just say, I was not soothed by the 600-pound smelly beasts.

In theory, I would have no problem with this weekly cabal of lumbering, blubbery, drooling pups if only the same privileges were given to cat-lovers.

Yes, I am talking about weekly cat therapy.

Before you tell me cats don’t have the personality to act as therapy animals, I would advise you to check out the November 2007 issue of Cat Fancy Magazine, which tells the heart-warming story of a schizophrenic patient who was aided by cat therapy. Or check out “famous therapy and show cat” Princess Sugar Pie, which received three of the top hits on Google for “therapy cat,” so you know she must be as famous as her owner’s website says.

According to an article in Mental Health Matters, animal behaviorists say that cats are equally, if not more capable of comforting the sick and elderly.

“Cats raised more like dogs and breeds that have an easygoing temperament, such as Maine coons, can make fine therapy animals,” Lisa Radosta, a West Palm Beach veterinarian, said in the article.

The opportunity to train cats in pet therapy is there, as well. Both the Foundation for Pet Provided Therapy and the Delta Society certify cats as therapy pets. Each has its own requirements for certification.

Yet there are overwhelmingly more therapy dogs than cats.

Pets as Therapy, a UK charity program, has 4,500 dogs registered in the program, but only 108 cats. Many animal therapy programs, such as Project POOCH and Pitt’s own animal therapy opportunities, don’t offer cat therapy at all.

I can only deduce that cat therapy is no more widespread because vicious slander more disgusting than cyanuric acid-laced Iams dog food. This is a problem that goes far deeper than pet therapy. It is an issue of one animal being glorified within a society, while the other gets treated like the Samoa cookie, which is the most underrated Girl Scout cookie of all time.

Cat-lovers across campus, I implore you: Voice your support for cat therapy. Bring awareness to this serious issue of discrimination, and perhaps we will soon be enjoying Wednesday night cat-therapy sessions together.

E-mail your support for cat therapy to Molly at mog4@pitt.edu.