Trietley: Need a cheat sheet to tackle the NFL and schoolwork?

You feel that?

That little yank that just tugged you right then? That pull beneath you? That… You feel that?

That little yank that just tugged you right then? That pull beneath you? That quake?

That’s professional football starting up again. Yes, it’s here already. It sneaks up on fans, with only four weeks of preseason, a month of training camp, free agency, the draft and whatever Tom Brady does to prime viewers.

Did you not know? It’s okay. Many people take a break from football over the summer in favor of less worthy pursuits, such as golf, part-time jobs and family.

Over the summer, the contract status of Albert Haynesworth or the legal status of Plaxico Burress is superfluous information.

But now football is upon us.

So you don’t enter the season wildly unprepared, the following Official Week One Cheat Sheet packs more tidbits and helpful hints than any other William Pitt Union-based student-run newspaper. Note: the Official Week One Cheat Sheet contains no answers to upcoming exams.

First, Sunday is football time. Sunday, though, is also homework time. These do not mix. Solution: Watch Sunday’s games in a room with a table or, preferably, wireless Internet. Wireless Internet is favored over a table because you can always use your laptop as a backer, but you can’t check fantasy football with a countertop.

Additionally, complete all homework before the first game ends. Beware the Sunday night double-whammy. The only thing worse than your team losing is your team losing with derivatives still to do.

Don’t pass up the game altogether, though. You’ll miss too much. Instead, wisely divvy up your attention. There are a few important things to watch for this week. Hint: It’s not Rams-Seahawks.

Start the weekend unnecessarily early with Titans-Steelers on Thursday night. Keep an eye out for Titans running back combo Chris Johnson and LenDale White, the best combination of backfield speed and power in the league today.

Let that game soak in for two days. Then, on the third day, rise and turn on Eagles-Panthers. Although Michael Vick will not play, former Pitt running back LeSean McCoy will, and talent-laden Philadelphia possesses about five or six other weapons on offense.

On the other sideline, DeAngelo Williams might be the league’s most underrated running back. He alone is worth your time.

That night, catch Jay Cutler as he makes his Chicago Bears debut against Green Bay after demanding a trade out of Denver in the offseason. He did not, though, demand wide receiver corps as weak as Chicago’s. Watch to see how quickly he wishes he still had Brandon Marshall.

And if Carolina’s Williams tops the underrated running back list, Chicago’s Matt Forte eerily lurks right behind him. Plus, it might rain, and rain makes 4-yard runs and underthrown passes enthralling.

Every football game, though, has downtime. Pass this time playing “What Happened to Him?” instead of watching beer commercials. In “What Happened to Him?” one armchair quarterback shouts out a former player, and others try to guess the current whereabouts of that player.

For example, muse at halftime about Adam Jones. What happened to him? Answer: The cornerback formerly known as “Pacman” agreed in principle to play with Winnipeg of the Canadian Football League, but Winnipeg later decided against it. He remains a free agent.

Akili Smith? If you correctly guess that the first-round bust now pursues a master’s degree in theology and divinity, the game ends and you win.

When football returns from the commercial break, continue to ignore Brett Favre’s debut. He faces Cleveland. Besides, if anything important happens, five television networks, 70 newspapers, a few hundred thousand blogs and a man shouting at you from the street corner will alert you immediately.

Also avoid the Monday Night Football matchups. Buffalo faces New England in the first game of the doubleheader. Traditionally, in-division rivalries are great. The Patriots, though, have defeated the Bills 11 straight times.

In addition, wide receiver and cable television personality Terrell Owens still nurses a toe injury. And Marshawn Lynch is suspended. And the Bills first team failed to score an offensive touchdown in the preseason — and in the last game of last season.

Can they start the second game early?

Oakland’s playing? Hmm.

Maybe Monday night is homework time.