Editorial: South Oakland Showdown: Sorrento’s versus Antoon’s

Every day, we enjoy an array of dining options as diverse as they are delicious.

But every night, our options dwindle to a brave few, a nocturnal elite who not only survive the darkness, but thrive in it.

This fearless faction is overshadowed by a storied rivalry that rules the night: Sorrento’s versus Antoon’s pizza.

Sure, there are other late-night options — and we’re not saying that that these two places are any better or worse than their alternatives — but the $5 pizza rivalry is an anomaly.

An assorted sampling of customers frequent most restaurants, but Sorrento’s and Antoon’s are visited almost exclusively by students. If you’ve ever seen the scene late at night, it’s clear that we’ve claimed it as our turf.

Located conveniently close to one another and offering late-night pizza at the same price — although technically, Antoon’s is ten cents cheaper — it’s only natural that a competition developed over the past few decades.

The friction between the two Atwood Street staples is out there — we’ve all been a part of the debate at one time or another — but it’s remained informal, and thus, we’ve have never been able to reach a consensus on which establishment is the true late-night king.

For perhaps the first time ever, let us publicly and proudly begin the debate.

The case for Sorrento’s

Admittedly, we’ve had midnight dalliances with Antoon’s, waking up next to the box and rushing it out of the apartment before a neighbor can see our shame.

Sorrento’s is the kind of pizza you take home to meet your mother. It’s hospitable. It’s got smarts — Sorrento’s offers free Wi-Fi Internet — and it’s more flavorful.

Plus, it’s got class. Technically, Sorrento’s is more expensive, but you get what you pay for. When it comes to cheese, Sorrento’s is the happy and generous Launchpad to Antoon’s Scrooge McDuck.

Sorrento’s fills your gullet faster, and it accepts credit cards, unlike the cash-only Antoon’s. The cashless payment option is crucial for late-night lushes with nothing in their pockets but bottle caps and paper clips.

Yes, Sorrento’s is greasier, but if you don’t like grease, don’t eat pizza. Plus, greasy food helps morning hangovers — supposedly.

Owner Aaron Price welcomes the rowdy college crowd. He creates a community atmosphere in his parlor, especially on cold nights. While soused and jolly brethren find sanctuary inside a warm Sorrento’s, Antoon’s customers stand cold and lonely in the Pittsburgh winter like waiting in a Soviet breadline.

During the Christmas season, Sorrento’s even hangs lights.

It’s simple pleasures like these that make Sorrento’s the best $5 pizza joint in town.

The case for Antoon’s

Antoon’s operates on two standards: dirt-cheap pizza and quick service. And when it comes to size, Antoon’s will leave you satisfied no matter what kind of night you’ve had.

An Antoon’s $5 measures 16 inches, while a Sorrento’s pie is a mere 14.

Imagine yourself eating an Antoon’s pizza. The sauce has a mildly sweet taste complimented by a delectable, pleasant crunch of cheesy bubbles. OK, so really it’s just $5 pizza, but you won’t find a better deal in Oakland.

Now take hold of that piece of Sorrento’s pizza — or try to, at least. Contrary to the durable fibers of an Antoon’s pie, a slice of Sorrento’s flimsy pizza flops like a dead fish, while grease falls from the cheese like water droplets from a leaky pipe. Needless to say, this feeble pizza is hardly conducive to the late night inhaling of cheesy treats.

Yeah, yeah, Sorrento’s offers seating for the after-party masses. No, Antoon’s doesn’t have seats, but it doesn’t need them. Spare the fanfare and tawdry décor. You’re hungry, maybe you’ve had a couple drinks, and all you want is pizza. Get your pizza, get out and keep the night going.

In a way, neither place has better pizza than the other. If we wanted good pizza, we wouldn’t be eating at 2 a.m. Both places serve relatively average pizza to a demographic that is marked more by its intoxication than its taste for fine dining.

But that’s not why we love Sorrento’s and Antoon’s – and our editorial board was split in a vote for a favorite. It’s the remembrance of debaucheries past at both establishments that fuel the feverish support for either. Whether having rolled from the Garage Door into Sorrento’s to scream at the finale of a Penguins game or having marched triumphantly past the scattered bodies of stuporous underclassman with your ready-to-go Antoon’s, you’ve spent one of your college nights celebrating with $5 pizza.

Ultimately, we endorse both Sorrento’s and Antoon’s for being staples in all of those adventures we find ourselves in when we should be asleep. Thank you for being the only partially acceptable decision we make after 1 a.m.