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Layton: Levi Johnston latest victim of media self-absorption

If a law degree is the quintessential and most common prerequisite for many successful… If a law degree is the quintessential and most common prerequisite for many successful politicians, what is the most surefire way to become a successful famewh*re?

For Levi Johnston, knocking up the daughter of a politician was certainly a start. Posing nude in Playgirl couldn’t hurt, either.

The baby-daddy of 18-year-old Bristol Palin, who in turn is the daughter of the now-infamous joke of the 2008 presidential election, Sarah Palin, Johnston has since left Bristol to pursue other worthwhile activities — namely, to get himselfpermanently ingrained in the public eye.

In a series of gaudy displays of shameless self-promotion, Johnston is the most recent — and pathetic — example of a D-list “celebrity” attempting to cash in his dignity for profit. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt must be so proud.

The shenanigans started this summer, a few months after Johnston and Palin “mutually agreed” to end their engagement, as reported by the Associated Press. Johnston began a round of major news network interviews and talk show appearances — my favorite being “The Tyra Banks Show” — with the seemingly preeminent motive of embarrassing the Palins.

Leave it to Banks to deem the apparently accidental conception of Levi and Bristol’s son as a “wardrobe malfunction.”

When he wasn’t getting creepily affectionate pats on the leg from Tyra, Johnston found time to do a large feature in GQ magazine, where he posed shirtless with an infant that was certainly not his. While the magazine subversively poked fun at his Alaskan-bred excess of masculinity and Republicanism, it also unfortunately set up Johnston to become a household name.

Then, Johnston agreed to attend the Teen Choice Awards. Not with a rising pop starlet, mind you, but on the arm of self-proclaimed D-list diva Kathy Griffin. Across the country, confused spectators to this most freakish of media circuses echoed, “Levi, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Alaska anymore. We must be over the shame-bow!”

Between the bouts of photographed shirtlessness and cavorting around with one of the biggest gay icons out there, Johnston cemented his image as a new poster boy for the gay community by doing a Skype interview on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live” with host Andy Cohen.

As if his association with Griffin wasn’t enough, appearing on what is commonly thought of as the unspoken gay cable channel has transformed Johnston into a gay icon himself. And as the cherry on top of an already VH1 reality show-worthy set of surreal events, Johnston said he would be willing to pose nude “if the money was right.”

To catch up, one year ago Johnston was just another pawn in the McCain/Palin campaign ticket. Today, he is in negotiations to strip down for Playgirl.

One almost has to feel bad for the Palin family — almost — for being associated with what is simultaneously the joke and current prize of the media world. Johnston, who must secretly be loving his gay fan base, is playing all the right cards, even though he might be cashing in too soon.

His most garish move yet — a self-written account in Vanity Fair on the nature of Sarah Palin as politician, wife and mother — is the most logical attention-getting move, but after the buzz wears off from the article, what other plays does Johnston have in his arsenal?

The upcoming strip shoot couldn’t hurt, but ultimately, the Alaskan good-ole-boy will inevitably find himself on the path to increasingly shameful, yet always public, attempts to stay relevant. A memoir will surely pop up someday, and maybe a drug scandal will shake things up. If Johnston gets really lucky, perhaps Miley Cyrus will hit him up after “Hannah Montana” gets canceled.

For now, though, let’s mourn yet another case where a fame-hungry subject — previously on the edge of the spotlight — sells his soul for a little more attention, despite his plethora of real responsibilities like raising a child.

Levi has spoken, Sarah Palin. It might be time to get in touch with Playboy.

Pitt News Staff

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