Levinson: D23 Expo a magical bag of disappointment, intrigue

Disney, quit playing games with my heart.

This past week, Disney held its first D23 Expo in Anaheim, Calif. D23 began as an online community created in March by Disney for the purpose of discussion and interaction between extreme fans of the House of Mouse.

The “D” stands for Disney and the “23” for 1923 — the year Walt Disney founded what is now known as The Walt Disney Co.

While there’s nothing wrong with all the Disney groupies getting together, the D23 Expo exemplifies once more how conventions like Comic-Con and South by Southwest are continuously edging closer to the mainstream and are being used less as gatherings and more for an advertising front.

But societal issues aside, D23 actually sparked some alternately exciting and depressing news.

The expo started with an appearance by Johnny Depp, in full Jack Sparrow garb, to announce the details for the fourth Pirates movie, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide.”

Shame on you, Disney, for re-using again and again what was one fun film based off a theme park ride. You’ve abused the whole idea so much that now it cries itself to sleep and spontaneously throws things when it’s alone.

But Disney won’t stop there when it comes to remakes, sequels and the basic tormenting of my childhood.

Besides the sequel to “Tron” and the remake of “Alice in Wonderland” that Disney announced earlier this year, director Robert Zemeckis will lead a 3-D remake of the 1968 Beatles flick, “Yellow Submarine.” As if the original wasn’t trippy enough.

And after the disaster of a Muppet movie that was “The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz,” Disney will try again with “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made.”

But hold on a second, something’s wrong. Jason Segal will be writing the screenplay for it? The Jason Segal who wrote and starred in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”?

Disney, you tempt me.

There are also rumors everywhere that you’re remaking, or re-mastering rather, the $17-million 1986 Francis Ford Coppola-directed 3-D Epcot attraction, “Captain EO.”

That’s just wrong, Disney. Coppola is dead. You can watch the piece on YouTube — don’t put it back in Epcot.

Oh, what’s that you say, Bob Iger, Walt Disney Company CEO?

“There aren’t plans to bring back ‘Captain EO’ at this time.”

Wow, Disney, I’m starting to grow very fond of you.

What about Disney animation? I still haven’t forgiven you yet for 2000’s “The Emperor’s New Groove.” I know, the upcoming cell-animated “The

Princess and the Frog” looks mildly intriguing, but I still predict a critical boat full of “meh.”

While D23 was going on in California, though, chief creative officer and Pixar big-man John Lasseter mentioned some new animated films at a conference in London: “Rapunzel” and a new Winnie the Pooh film for Disney animation and, from Pixar, “Cars 2” and “The Bear and the Bow,” which stars Pixar’s first-ever female lead character.

Feminists unite — Pixar is gaining girl power.

I’m still kind of hesitant, Disney. You tease me with Jason Segal Muppets and a new Pixar film, but you’re still relying on sequels and remakes. Then again, it is the John Lasseter era of Disney, and I do trust Lasseter. But how can I trust you?

Three words: Guillermo Del Toro.

Del Toro, the man behind the seamlessly beautiful “Pan’s Labyrinth,” is leading a new Disney animation label called, Disney Double Dare You. According to Del Toro, Double Dare will bring back the evil, creepy villains of Disney’s older animated films. The first film, “Trollhunters” is a story directly from Del Toro himself.

I give up, Disney. You control my heart and soul. I will do anything you ask. I’ll follow you to the grave.

But didn’t you buy Marvel Entertainment last week for $4 billion? That seems a little fishy — perhaps, dare I say “corporate”?

Sure, maybe Pixar will make a real superhero movie now, but moves like that suggest to me that you’re losing your magic. I guess buying Marvel was a good business decision, but something just doesn’t seem right.

I’ll give you Marvel, Disney, but you’re on thin ice.

That’s it. We’re done. At the end of the D23 expo, Disney announced an update to the Star Tours ride at its theme parks in California and Florida. Now it

will be in 3-D and based off the “Star Wars” universe, including a pod-racing scene from “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.” Why!? “Episode I” was terrible!

I knew it, Disney — you were always too good to be true.