Brown: Find funemployment in the bad economy

If my words were hot dogs, I’d be Takeru Kobayashi.

In a column published on March 30, I… If my words were hot dogs, I’d be Takeru Kobayashi.

In a column published on March 30, I wrote, “And finding a job in Pittsburgh isn’t really that hard even in this tough economy.”

Oh, how wrong I was.

Always the optimist, I believed that even with a 7.6 percent unemployment rate, Pittsburgh was fairing all right. I didn’t have any reason to think otherwise.

Fast-forward two months and I feel foolish. I’ve lost count of all of the full-time jobs and internships to which I have applied over the past few months, but I’ve never really felt discouraged before now.

From a straw poll I took with some of my friends, most are working in bars or restaurants to make their keep, if they’re even employed at all. Instead of the well-paying jobs they had last year, those with internships are doing it pro bono or on a very part-time basis.

Last week, I received an e-mail from a job I thought was a shoo-in for, as I had two successful interviews. Upon opening that message, I found out the position folded because of company-wide budget cuts.

That’s when I woke up from whatever dream I was having.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, unemployment is hovering around 8.9 percent nationally. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s the most we’ve had since the last big recession during the early 1980s, and it doesn’t account for all those dispirited folks who’ve given up on finding employment.

During the recession of the 1980s, unemployment peaked at 10.8 percent and interest rates reached 20.5 percent. We’re not quite there yet, but we’re working on it.

Pittsburgh hasn’t been bludgeoned by this economic climate quite like some larger metropolitan areas, like New York City — where unemployment parties have become fashionable. Still, we’re at a slow but constant bleed.

After consulting with some of my unemployed friends for solace, I’m now switching to Plan E or F — I’ve lost count. If I’m in the minority with these sentiments, I’d be surprised. I really didn’t think it would be this tough.

As desperation sets in, there are things we can do to offset our losses without resorting to making a real-life version of “Zack and Miri” or doing anything criminal.

Craigslist is a great place to start. If you have a truck, many people offer good sums of money to help move their junk. Some offer more to help move said junk into their new houses.

There are also small gigs and jobs posted online for staffing one-time events. All you have to do is show up.

There is a sense of adventure in the whole thing. What are you moving? What kind of random event are you staffing, and what kinds of people will you meet?

Like Forrest Gump said, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” Essentially an independent contractor, you could be paired with someone who might become a friend or someone with a checkered past that lends itself to plenty of dinnertime conversation.

Hey, it’s all part of the fun.

While some of these examples might sound a bit quirky, it’s important to turn unemployment into “funemployment.” Sure, working odd jobs isn’t ideal, but money obtained through less conventional means is still, well, money.

The worst thing that can happen right now is for anyone to give up. All that will do is make it easier for someone else to find a job. If you’re the giving type, that’s probably not a problem, but giving up doesn’t pay the rent.

In my case, I’m going to keep working side jobs and submitting 20 or 30 applications and resumes per week until something clicks. I will spend my nights and weekends off on some semi-employed journey in the meantime. During the normal nine-to-five, I am going to call employers until they get sick of hearing from me.

It’s a little difficult to take unemployment sitting down. It’s downright miserable. But keep those spirits up. “Funemployment” should hold you over — monetarily and mentally.

Just because the job market is a little thin doesn’t mean it’s time to go starving. Now’s the time to dig in.