Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen fills summer blockbuster role nicely

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Optimus… “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Optimus Prime

Dir: Michael Bay

Studio: Paramount Pictures

Grade: B+

Epic might be the only word suitable for the new “Transformers” film.

The action scenes: epic. Megan Fox’s level of hotness: more epic. The hype: predictably epic. The running time: truly epic. The level of overwhelming hysteria requiring massive amounts of Ritalin from so much simultaneously happening onscreen: off-the-charts epicness.

Two years ago, Michael Bay thrust upon the world a big, clunky and frequently awkward behemoth reinvention of a popular toy franchise that continued to become an enormous hit. The film, however incredibly silly it was, made stars out of the little-known Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. Now household names, their salaries and egos have since increased exponentially.

This sequel — and the already-announced third film — are inevitable works of Hollywood-blockbuster art. The indulgence and celebration of excess onscreen might scream crass and gaudy on its shiny surface, but somewhere in the second hour, a Megatron-sized realization hits the viewer — it takes skill to make something so derivative so ridiculously entertaining.

For those hiding under a boulder for the past two years, the “Transformers” franchise centers around a race of aliens that morph from vehicles to truly badass-looking robots. This all takes place on Earth. There are good Transformers — the Autobots — and there are the dastardly Decepticons. Most of the plot contrivances involving the two groups are mainly used to set up insane robot-on-robot fight scenes.

Sound a little too geek-tastic already? Don’t worry — unlike this summer’s previous blockbuster juggernaut, “Star Trek,” the “Transformers” movies, especially this new sequel, have the distinct advantage of not alienating those who couldn’t care less about the series’ mythology. It is perfectly acceptable to turn off your brain and just enjoy the spectacle onscreen.

This time around, Sam (LaBeouf) prepares to go to college and deals with serious girlfriend Mikaila (Fox) when he finds a shard of the All Spark from the last film in the pocket of his old hoodie, and soon enough, the metal scrap hits the fan. How it took him this long to find the shard is a leap in logic the film never addresses — and just the first of many throughout the film.

It would be unfair to the fanboys to spoil details of the plot that likely carry weight for them, but merely serve as distraction for the majority of audience members. The most important accomplishment of the story is that it takes the characters — including many familiar faces from the first film — to exotic locales that both act as appropriate battlegrounds and lend themselves to surprisingly majestic camera work.

As a Michael Bay film, “Revenge of the Fallen” makes every attempt to become the most explosive and over-the-top action blockbuster in recent memory, which is no easy feat given the number of quality blockbusters in the past few years – the first “Transformers” included.

In most ways, it succeeds. The effects are continually jaw-dropping. Even better: They never grow boring. The Transformers look more realistic and integrated into their backgrounds than they did in the first film, and the fight scenes, though sometimes too lengthy, will bring out the 12-year-old, wide-eyed boy in even the most jaded of audience members.

While returning audiences expected all of this from the film, the most pleasant surprise punch “Revenge of the Fallen” packs is the comedy. The film is consistently funny and oftentimes downright hilarious. Julie White, Sam’s mom, is a riot, and while the consistent one-liners sometimes toe the line of formulaic action-comedy flick, they never cease to amuse.

The performances in the film are fairly standard — LaBeouf still shows incredible promise to be a leading actor of his generation, and Fox picks up a hint of arrogance that never detracts from her hotness. If I topped countless “Top 100 Hot Girls” lists, I would be arrogant, too.

Like the first film, none of the human performers can compare to the Transformers. Even with two of the most racially insensitive CGI characters since Jar Jar Binks, the ability for a robot to inspire a strong emotional response never fails to amaze, and there are a number of touching scenes between Sam and a certain “prime” Transformer that will have you laughing at yourself for caring so deeply.

Unfortunately, the film is about 20 minutes too long, and like any other summer blockbuster, it’s ultimately as memorable as the stale popcorn you munch on while watching it — but that’s beside the point.

Take a date, go with friends or even catch it as a matinee by yourself, because this might be one of the most entertaining movies of the summer.

But don’t forget: Don’t think too hard about what a Decepticon or a Prime really is, because you will only leave the theater cursing Megan and Megatron.