Lip syncing defeat to album of the year for dynamic duo

Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2009 April Fools’ edition. It is a… Editor’s note: This story appeared as part of The Pitt News 2009 April Fools’ edition. It is a work of fiction produced solely for entertainment value.

Out of a Grammy performance gone awry, two shattered careers and thousands of young, broken hearts comes the biggest surprise of the year.

The band formerly known as Milli Vanilli now goes by the name Gone Celestial on its magnum opus entitled Sync or Swim.

The band name isn’t the only thing former pop stars Pilatus and Fab Morvan changed for their illustrious comeback. They’ve turned from their MTV pop sound to a unique and skillful brand of freak folk that warranted a 9.2 from Pitchfork.com.

Despite rumors of Pilatus’ death, the band will drop a new album next week.

Since his supposed death in 1998, Pilatus spent the past 11 years working as a farm hand in a small Michigan town learning guitar and listening to Devendra Banhart and Animal Collective. Once he decided he was ready to return to the spotlight, Pilatus put his sparkly vest back on, called his old bandmate Morvan, and the magic began.

The resulting album is a melodious chronicle of the ups, downs, ins and outs of the duo’s historic career and possibly one of the best albums of the year. Pilatus’ dynamic guitar parts liken him to the great acoustic guitarist Nick Drake — if Drake had three extra fingers. Morvan provides harmonizing vocals, bongos and classical flute pieces to back up Pilatus.

The album starts off on a particularly strong note with the song ‘Pectorals and Peaks,’ co-written by both Pilatus and Morvan. The upbeat tune features chimes and an oboe, while the two musicians croon about their days at the top of the charts.

Gone Celestial keeps the energy high on the second track, ‘Keep on Running (Off Stage),’ a fast and chaotic remix of the hit song from the band’s failed sophomore album, Keep on Running.

The next three tracks are calmer acoustic pieces with flute pieces weaving in and out of intricate guitar pieces.’

‘Savage’ is a particularly calming song dedicated to ‘Pocahontas,’ the movie that Morvan said helped him through the tough time that followed his Grammy humiliation.

Sync or Swim picks up again with the sixth track ‘Mooving on Up,’ an upbeat song about Pilatus’ experience of finding his inner self in a field of cows, of all places.

On the seventh track, ‘Repetition Is Volatile,’ Gone Celestial surprises listeners by bringing David Blaine in as a guest vocalist. Together, the band members’ three voices, backed by the Harlem Boys Choir, create what can only be called one of the great vocal masterpieces of the 21st century.

The next two songs, ‘Lost’ and ‘Still Lost,’ are simply an artful combination of ambient noise with Morvan and Pilatus soulfully humming over it.

The album’s closing song, ‘Blame It on Frank Farian,’ is truly the highlight of the album. Morvan and Pilatus put down their instruments and recruit Daft Punk to supply them with some awesome dance beats while they sing the lyrics, ‘Course we still work out / These chiseled bodies don’t just sprout,’ reassuring fans that at heart, there is still some Milli Vanilli left.

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