Editorial: City Council fiddles with pointless bill on couches

‘ ‘ ‘ The days of sitting comfortably on the front porch might be over. If City Council votes… ‘ ‘ ‘ The days of sitting comfortably on the front porch might be over. If City Council votes to pass a new ordinance, having a couch, mattress or other upholstered furniture on any unenclosed porch visible from public streets or sidewalks would constitute an offense punishable by a daily fine between $200 and $500. ‘ ‘ ‘ According to the text of the bill, this is both to prevent the public health hazard that storing indoor furniture outside presents ‘mdash; as it provides a nesting place for rodents, insects and other pests ‘mdash; and because mattresses and couches can be a fire hazard. But to hear Councilman Bruce Kraus, the bill’s sponsor, tell the story, you’d think that most of these couches were already on fire. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Rome is burning,’ Kraus said in the City Council meeting on March 11, going on to add, ‘I can’t understand even why we need a legal opinion to protect arsonists from setting neighborhoods ablaze.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Kraus does have a point within his fiery reasoning. It’s become something of a fad to haul a couch out into the street and set fire to it, especially in Oakland. But we have to wonder if the bill is going to achieve this goal. It doesn’t actually make it any more risky for people to set a couch on fire in the street. All they have to do is carry it out of the inside of a house first, rather than just off the porch. ‘ ‘ ‘ It would be like if we decided to make it more difficult to commit murder by banning gun racks in pickup trucks. Anyone with any presence of mind would just stop carrying their guns in a gun rack, effectively avoiding the law entirely. ‘ ‘ ‘ And considering the fact that it’s still illegal to set couches on fire ‘mdash; something pretty firmly covered under Pennsylvania laws on arson ‘mdash; the intent of this law suddenly seems pretty hazy. ‘ ‘ ‘ Of course, this is ignoring the first half of City Council’s reasoning, which is that upholstered furniture provides a nesting place for all sorts of undesirable pests and critters when it is stored outside, and therefore this furniture poses a public health risk. ‘ ‘ ‘ But the legislation would only ban upholstered furniture from open porches ‘visible from any public or private place, sidewalk or highway.’ So if nobody but you can see your porch, you can keep all the nasty, infested furniture there you want. Apparently City Council’s reasoning is that pests and public health risks don’t count if you can’t see them from the street. ‘ ‘ ‘ This bill appears to be aimed more at increasing property values than anything else. It’s safe to say that potential buyers wouldn’t likely want a house when it has a moldering, smelly couch on the front porch. And as a way to raise property value, this sort of legislation would probably be very effective. ‘ ‘ ‘ But trying to couch the law in protecting communities from fire and health risks is silly and deceitful, especially when the law is full of so many holes that it has no practical purpose whatsoever, not to mention no chance of preventing health or fire hazards. If City Council wants to protect us from ourselves, they should at least craft legislation decent enough to actually do something worthwhile.