VanBuren: Midnight openings offer nerd bonding

‘ ‘ ‘ This is a dangerous time to be a nerd. ‘ ‘ ‘ With the impending release of the comic… ‘ ‘ ‘ This is a dangerous time to be a nerd. ‘ ‘ ‘ With the impending release of the comic book adaptation ‘Watchmen’ and a nation of neck-bearded, bloodthirsty bloggers and goons chomping at the bit to declare it simultaneously the best and worst movie of all time, having an opinion is scary. ‘ ‘ ‘ But before the battle lines are drawn, we can enjoy a bit of solidarity in that most sacred rite of geeky passage: the midnight showing. ‘ ‘ ‘ It’s the true test of devotion ‘mdash; to show that no, you won’t wait another 18 hours, and going to sleep even one more time before finally seeing this movie is too much to ask. You’re a kid on Christmas Eve, and by God, you are opening those presents the minute the clock strikes 12. ‘ ‘ ‘ Of course, there are obvious reasons that the concept of the premiere has detractors. ‘ ‘ ‘ Buying tickets days or weeks in advance and spending the evening slumped on the floor of a movie theater lobby is a major time commitment ‘mdash; the auditorium usually doesn’t even open until around 11 p.m., if you’re lucky. And in the case of a film like ‘Watchmen,’ which sports a hefty running time of two hours and 40 minutes, you won’t be in bed until around 3 a.m. ‘mdash; even later if you can’t stop hyperventilating. ‘ ‘ ‘ The midnight movie is more significant than being first on the block with a shiny new opinion, though. For many, the journey is as rewarding as the destination. I’m not typically one to adorn myself in duds that oust me as a sucker for nerdcore ‘mdash; even less so is my wife, who would likely giggle and feign ignorance if I so much as asked her who Batman was in front of her friends. ‘ ‘ ‘ Yet the two of us felt no shame drawing lightning bolts on each other at the premiere of the last ‘Harry Potter’ movie. Even with our magic marker ‘HP 4 Life’ tattoos, we were among the least decorated fans in a theater full of wand-wiggling, would-be wizards. ‘ ‘ ‘ At no other screening of a movie will you find an audience as attentive as the one that sat and waited outside the theater for two hours, nor can you recreate the camaraderie and excitement that comes with sharing in that event. It’s the reason people have flocked to theaters for over 30 years to see ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ ‘mdash; not because it’s a good movie, but because of the nature of a group experience, of being in a room with 200 other people who get as excited about the same stupid things as you do. ‘ ‘ ‘ For this reason, I urge my fellow fanboys to enter that theater late Thursday night with some perspective on the occasion. Because when you exit at 2:45 on Friday morning, things will be different. Disappointment and cynicism will cut through the excitement that once sweetened the theater air like freshly pumped popcorn butter substitute. ‘ ‘ ‘ Because if there are two things an obsessive devotee loves, they’re hyperbole and being right ‘mdash; a dangerous combination. You will likely hear from the same crowd that this movie is both the most valuable piece of cinema of our lifetime and the greatest cultural faux pas since the death of Christ. But let us give thanks to it, in any case, for bringing us together. ‘ ‘ ‘ For putting us all in that room at midnight, for getting us out of our basements, for letting us wear our smiley face buttons with pride and celebrating a piece of our subcultural canon before our own private doomsday clock strikes midnight. ‘ ‘ ‘ Even if it only lasts three hours.