Chakan: Athletes shouldn’t kiss and tell

‘ ‘ For all of the attention steroids grabbed in the baseball world this past week, another… ‘ ‘ For all of the attention steroids grabbed in the baseball world this past week, another story related to a performance-stifling drug collected dust bunnies under the rug. The stifling drug, naturally of course, is sex. According to ESPN.com, former Major League Baseball All-Star Roberto Alomar refuted claims that he possesses an illness after ex-girlfriend Ilya Dall sued him for demanding to have unprotected sex despite Alomar showing signs of AIDS. Although Alomar hasn’t manned second base since 2004, this report is just another example proving that athletes and sex don’t mix. When sports stars or their significant others decide to do-and-tell, the final results often end in humiliating defeat. Perhaps the most telling example comes from the Kobe Bryant scandal from 2003. The Los Angeles Lakers superstar was accused by a hotel employee of sexual assault in Colorado, setting off a year-long ordeal that immediately tarnished Bryant’s image. Bryant admitted committing adultery in a teary press conference with his smoking-hot wife Vanessa (Who would ever cheat on her anyway? Seriously, look at the pictures.), but swore that the sex with his accuser was consensual. In the end, Bryant got lucky that the fallout wasn’t totally nuclear. He lost several endorsements and his jersey sales dipped in the aftermath of the cheating, but Bryant regained respect after his accuser refused to testify and details of her past splurged into the media. But sometimes, athletes’ lives continue to spiral south because of sex. While strip clubs might be the focal destination for 18-year-olds everywhere, NFL cornerback Adam ‘Don’t call me Pacman’ Jones took his love for the scantily clad to dangerous levels. Jones’ name surfaced in two separate strip-club incidents within a calendar year. In a Las Vegas club in February of 2007, Jones allegedly helped Nelly in ‘making it rain,’ but the lightning bolt came later when a man at the club was paralyzed from the waist down from a shooting later that night. A suspect included a member of Jones’ entourage ‘- who didn’t really resemble Johnny Drama. Months later, another member of Jones’ following was accused of a shooting at an Atlanta strip club. Along with about 79 other off-the-field issues, Jones’ NFL career has stalled after getting released by the Dallas Cowboys last month. Allegations that could hold absolutely no merit whatsoever can just as easily damage an athlete’s reputation. Just look at Alex Rodriguez. Who cares about steroid use when Madonna’s involved? Us Weekly reported in July that the then-49-year-old singer hosted ‘late-night visits’ from Rodriguez. Days later, Rodriguez’s wife Cynthia (also hotter than the ‘cheatee’) filed for divorce. Rodriguez’s Yankees went on to miss the playoffs for the first time since 1993. Who says correlation doesn’t equal causality? While some of the other cases are actually quite serious, other athlete sex stories are just downright hilarious. Take for instance Brazilian soccer stud Ronaldo. Now, it is a relatively common practice for athletes to get the craving when on the road and pick up a prostitute for a fun evening. But Ronaldo’s gaffe in April 2008 wasn’t exactly pushing a shot attempt wide right. BBC reported that Ronaldo picked up three prostitutes one night after dropping off girlfriend Maria Beatriz Anthony. But he gave the hookers each red cards when he discovered that ‘- wait for it ‘- they were transvestites. The story temporarily ended his relationship with Anthony (they would later get engaged) and had sponsorships threatened, just like Bryant. Although more people were probably laughing rather than gasping in horror. There you have it, four instances of sex-related hysteria penetrating the lives of high-profile athletes. While their performances in the bedroom may have pleased, public leaks of the info didn’t exactly attract large audiences like their sporting efforts. The lesson? What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. Unless of course, your name is Wilt Chamberlain. Then sex is good. Really good.