Dead flicks should stay buried

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Though awards season is fast approaching ‘mdash; that fabled time when the movies… ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Though awards season is fast approaching ‘mdash; that fabled time when the movies you’ve waited all year to see finally come out ‘mdash; this week’s news from Hollywood could scarcely be grimmer. ‘ ‘ ‘ Awards season can’t come without some foreboding news to ruin the fun. This year Hollywood announced that it has moved past scraping the bottom of the barrel for remakes and sequels and has now cast the barrel aside so that it may shovel into the ground beneath it. ‘ ‘ ‘ Brett Ratner is apparently bored of directing Mariah Carey music videos and commercials for the new ‘Guitar Hero’ game ‘mdash; he’s headed back to the big screen with a new ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ sequel. The last one came out in 1994. ‘ ‘ ‘ Eddie Murphy hasn’t had a live action hit in quite some time, but finding it by working with Ratner is akin to making a deal with Lucifer. After sucking dry what little life remained in the ‘Rush Hour’ and ‘X-Men’ trilogies, Ratner has clearly found the next franchise he wants to effectively ruin. After this, what other semi-respectable series might he resurrect and destroy with his personal brand of hackney, homogenized platitude? ‘Robocop?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ But then, Ratner isn’t the only one trying his hand at franchise necromancy. Tom Rothman, executive at Fox Filmed Entertainment, recently confirmed that Fox is ‘very close’ in developing a new ‘Planet of the Apes’ remake. Because the last one was so memorable, of course. It’s odd that Fox didn’t learn its lesson from the last abysmal ‘Apes’ remake ‘mdash; a new one is arguably the least anticipated sequel since ‘Punisher: War Zone.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Fox must not be a studio that learns from its mistakes, though ‘mdash; it’s the kind that repeats them until a fluke strikes gold, and hot on the heels of the sexy teen vampire romance ‘Twilight,’ Fox might be ready to resurrect its own sexy teen vampire franchise: ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ Buffy’s been off the air for five years, but an Australian newspaper reports that 20th Century Fox may be interested in a big-screen follow-up to capitalize on the recent popularity of the undead. An old franchise like Buffy, though, might not be the way to go. ‘ ‘ ‘ The series, which lives on as a successful comic book, enjoyed a formidable cult following ‘mdash; much like Fox’s ‘The X-Files,’ which scored a cinematic resurrection earlier this year. But audiences aren’t taking the nostalgic bait for long-dead sci-fi shows ‘mdash; the X-Files sequel was a financial failure, and despite the current bloodlust for vampiric drama, a return to the Buffyverse would likely follow suit. ‘ ‘ ‘ The argument against Hollywood’s penchant for producing remakes and sequels is nothing new, but this trend of returning to old and often unsuccessful properties is just strange. Perhaps the success of reborn franchises, like the James Bond series, is misleading Hollywood execs, who apparently are happy to follow the ‘Incredible Hulk’ formula of declaring a mulligan and trying again every time a movie fails at the box office. The reality is that there are some things that audiences simply don’t want to see. Ever. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Hopefully this awards season can distract us enough so that we don’t hear more about projects like these ‘mdash; Hollywood digging up old franchises that should simply stay buried.