Four Christmases and not one funny joke?

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a lukewarm holiday comedy that fails to… On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a lukewarm holiday comedy that fails to deliver the holiday spirit. ‘Four Christmases’ revolves around Kate (Reese Witherspoon) and Brad (Vince Vaughn), the type of sickeningly happy couple that makes even the biggest romantics want to vomit. They’re content with their lifestyle of contrived perfection in San Francisco, and despite their family’s gentle prodding, they refuse that marriage is a good idea (undoubtedly a testament to both having divorced parents). Instead, they live together and indulge on an annual tropical vacation each Christmas while their dysfunctional parents think that they’re doing charity work. Unfortunately, this year a fog rolls in over California, and Kate and Brad have to put Fiji on hold until the weather clears. While pleading with the check-in desk, a news anchor asks them for an interview, putting their real vacation plans out for all to see. While still on the air, the two start getting calls from their anxious parents, inviting them to four separate Christmas celebrations. So a day of family-instigated mortification and headaches ensues. Embarrassing childhood stories are brought up via photo albums and cynical siblings. Brad and Kate take turns getting physically and mentally assaulted by their families. Their parents and siblings might be humiliating, but they are pretty funny. Lucky for viewers, they’re mean enough to trigger a few chuckles. The day begins with Brad’s father (Robert Duvall) and brothers, a group of crude men obsessed with ultimate wrestling. The following visits don’t get any better. Kate’s seductive female family members uncomfortably hit on Brad. A game of Taboo with Brad’s pot brownie-loving mother (Sissy Spacek) reveals the shortcomings in Brad and Kate’s relationship. Basically, it’s everything Christmas normally is ‘mdash; a day of nostalgia-induced depression reminding you of insecurities as you gorge on mashed potatoes. While ‘Four Christmases’ takes a stab at depicting the anxiety of the holidays, the plot line doesn’t go deep enough to tug at the heart strings. Brad and Kate are hard to sympathize with. Maybe because the movie only runs a little more than 80 minutes, it’s nearly impossible to invest in their troubles. This would be forgivable if the comedic parts were funnier. Unfortunately, many of the punch lines provoke cringes before laughs. Though few honestly anticipate much from a movie with puking babies in the trailer, a little more can be expected from Vaughn and Witherspoon, who both have created fairly devoted followings from romantic comedies. Why can’t there be a Christmas version of ‘Wedding Crashers’ or ‘Legally Blonde’? And why were almost all great Christmas movies made before 1995? By the time the last of this season’s wrapping paper and pine needles have been swept away, ‘Four Christmases’ will long be forgotten. If you’re looking for a holiday movie with staying power, you’re better off breaking out the classics you have on DVD.