Pitt’s bowl opponent may leave fans disgusted

If you’ve ever seen ‘We Are Marshall,’ you know there’s a first time for everything. If you… If you’ve ever seen ‘We Are Marshall,’ you know there’s a first time for everything. If you haven’t … there is a first time for everything. That said, everyone needs to root for Rutgers ‘- hear me out, now, just hear me out ‘- everyone needs to root for Rutgers to beat Louisville tonight so Pitt can most likely get to the Sun Bowl. Again, just hear me out. ‘But I’ve never rooted for Rutgers in my life,’ you say? Well imagine this: Pitt beats Connecticut on Saturday to reach nine wins in a season for the first time since 2002, when The Great Larry Fitz (genuflect) made that unreal diving touchdown catch in the Insight Bowl (Remember that? Yeah, you do). OK, so imagine that happens and Pitt goes 9-3, first nine-win regular season since 1982, and finishes second in the Big East. It wouldn’t be a Big East championship, by any means, but following a 5-7 season with a 9-3 season is a huge step (excuse the cliche) in the right direction. Now imagine that culminating with a postseason bowl game against Arkansas State. Epic. That matchup has about as much appeal as Anthony Michael Hall did to Sam Baker in ‘Sixteen Candles.’ But it could happen if Louisville beats Rutgers tonight. In that case, both teams would be 6-6, and the Big East would only have five bowl-eligible teams with seven wins instead of six, meaning a 6-6 Notre Dame team could steal a bowl invite from the conference. Notre Dame only has ties to two Big-East affiliated bowls ‘- the Gator, which looks like it’ll take a Big 12 and an ACC team and (guess what?) the Sun Bowl. Should Notre Dame, with its whole national draw business, be invited to the Sun Bowl, because it can sell more tickets and draw a bigger TV audience, Pitt would more than likely get bumped to the Papajohns.com Bowl in Birmingham, Ala. The SEC holds the other affiliation to that spectacle, but regretfully can’t fill it because not enough teams from the conference are bowl-eligible. So they reportedly would take a Sun Belt Conference team. Like Louisiana-Lafayette. Or Arkansas State. Or Troy. Oh boy! I wouldn’t be able to take it. Four years we’ve been waiting for a bowl and I don’t want to be able to order pizza from it. So maybe there’s not a first time for everything, but there’s a first time to root for Rutgers when it helps Pitt. And that’s tonight. For now … – Oh … Pitt still has to beat Connecticut on Saturday for all of that to work. Actually, I think this one deserves a name: The New England Nuisance, The Rentschler Heart-wrencher, The UConn Yawn. – Sports Movie Trivia Quote of the Day: ‘How you play today, from this moment on, is how you will be remembered. This is your opportunity to rise from these ashes and grab glory.’ – Rankings time (first place votes): 1. Stewie Griffin (1) ‘- Four straight weeks atop the rankings. 2. Shady ‘- Of either the Slim or McCoy variety. 3. The bird ‘- It is, indeed, the word. 4. Whitney ‘- Arguably the only other stable person on The Hills. Can’t wait for The City. 5. Kate Mara ‘- No explanation needed. Also receiving votes: Office Space, Jake Ryan’s car. Dropped from the rankings: Latin Quarter night club in New York, which is most likely struggling to overcome the whole football-player-shoots-himself-with-a-concealed-weapon-in-our-club public relations typhoon (But hey, it happens); Brody Jenner and the doomed-to-fail Bromance (The over-under on episodes aired before it’s cancelled is 5.5 … I’m taking the under). – Check it out … J Grizz and I made up our own version of the board game Clue, except in this one you already know who the culprit is. It’s Pacman Jones, of course, and you have to figure out where and with whom he makes the mistake that will lead to his lifetime ban from football. A typical Clue suggestion would be like this: ‘It was the Colonel, in the billiard room, with the knife.’ In the Pacman version, it would be something like, ‘It was with Terrell Owens, in the locker room, with a jock strap,’ or, ‘It was with T.I., in the Burger King drive-thru lane, with an assault rifle.’ – The best of the worst sponsor-driven college football bowl names: magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl (The m is actually lowercased), San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, R + L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. What’s next? The Call 1-900-whatever For A Good Time Bowl? The West Virginia Wild and Wonderful Bowl? – Sports Movie Trivia Answer of the Day: Yes, Matthew McConaughey in ‘We Are Marshall.’ When I’m into something, I mean, I’m into it. E-mail Pat at pmitsch@gmail.com.