Vampires in love isn’t a bloody good success

‘Twilight’ Directed: Catherine Hardwicke Starring: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Summit … ‘Twilight’ Directed: Catherine Hardwicke Starring: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Summit Rating: B- Vampires aren’t just monsters of godlike power, blood-sucking fiends or angst-ridden gothic antiheroes. Now, a vampire might be the boy in your biology class. Based on the acclaimed teen vampire book series by Stephanie Meyer, ‘Twilight’s’ story centers on Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a clumsy yet unique 17-year-old girl who moves to live with her divorced father in a sleepy Washington town. The town quickly gets less sleepy when she meets her science lab partner, the mysterious Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and his family, all of whom are vampires. The thought of a boyfriend who longs to rip her throat out every second they’re together does nothing to deter Bella, who falls ‘irrevocably’ in love with Edward. He, in turn, finds Bella’s blood to be the most intoxicating and irresistible he’s ever encountered. As if the vampire-human dating dynamics aren’t tricky enough, an insane vampire targets Bella. From a foreboding opening onward, the film takes itself extremely seriously. The first of Bella’s several drama-fraught voiceovers says: ‘I’d never given much thought to how I would die.’ But viewers might not do the same. Lacking substance beyond an elaborate daydream, the plot feels contrived and unrealistic. The vast majority of characters remain underdeveloped, and the relationships presented feel more like plot devices than connections. ‘Twilight’ hinges on the believability of the relationship between soulmates Edward and Bella, the intensity of which surpasses the average high school crush. While not totally devoid of chemistry, Pattinson and Stewart fall short of that goal and don’t convince that their love is a catalyst for their improbable actions and sacrifices. Pattinson’s performance is overwrought and erratic, jumping from teenager to 20th-century gentleman to bloodsucker. For a boy who should personify perfection, he comes off as far more weird and creepy than alluring. Stewart is believable as Bella, though the scenes requiring her to be more sophisticated than wistful fall outside her reach. Ashley Greene is excellent as vampiress Alice Cullen, bringing charm and quirk to the role. The film’s other vampires are passable but unremarkable, serving more as gorgeous set pieces than characters. Hokey sepia-toned flashbacks and jumpy montages distract from an otherwise cinematically respectable film. Meyers’ vampires require neither fangs nor makeup beyond being ghostly pale, but they are supposed to have skin that sparkles in the sunlight. This effect comes off as lackluster, as do many of the films’ other special effects such as the vampires’ super speed and strength. Overall, director Catherine Hardwicke’s adaptation of the novel is remarkably accurate. Existing ‘Twilight’ enthusiasts and new viewers alike will enjoy an escape from reality into the land of sparkling high school student vampires and undead teenage love.