You’ve seen this ‘Saw’ before… four times before

Saw V Starring Tobin Bell, Julie Benz Twisted Pictures’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Do you hear that… Saw V Starring Tobin Bell, Julie Benz Twisted Pictures’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Do you hear that creepy, rasping, ominous breathing behind you? ‘ ‘ ‘ Don’t worry ‘mdash; it’s not a psycho killer, it’s merely the sound of a successful horror movie series struggling to catch some air while it is dying a long, drawn-out death. ‘ ‘ ‘ The series in desperate need of resuscitation is the infamous ‘Saw,’ and the fifth and latest installment does nothing but push this forsaken and unfortunately open-ended string of torture-fests further under the waves of obscurity. ‘ ‘ ‘ You saw this ‘Saw’ five years ago, when it was the inventive little indie that brought a new wave of sadism to the American cinema. ‘ ‘ ‘ Then you saw it again a year later in the second installment, which added group dynamics to create what would probably be the best in the series. After that, the ‘Saws’ began to teeter. ‘ ‘ ‘ And now, for the third year in a row, the series has lost sight of what originally made it stupid B-movie fun. ‘ ‘ ‘ Sure, there are still the death traps and plenty of gore to go around, but gone are the superficially thrilling, hyper-edited sequences, the severed-tongue-in-cheek humor and any shred of campiness. ‘ ‘ ‘ What was once the stand-out among crappy horror films has been neutered by convoluted plot twists and groan-worthy ‘surprise endings’ that do nothing but solidify next October’s installment. It’s enough to make you wish for the next version of ‘[Insert Japanese Horror Film].’ ‘ ‘ ‘ The plot is so wrapped up in the series’ contrived mythology that it would take an unfathomably long time to explain it all to the uninitiated, so basically, this installment picks off where the last left off. ‘ ‘ ‘ That is, we have a new Jigsaw substitute (Costas Mandylor) who realizes an FBI colleague (Scott Patterson) is onto his dirty game. A tired cat-and-mouse plot ensues, and at no point is it remotely interesting. ‘ ‘ ‘ Then there is the group of people who wake up in a signature Jigsaw death-trap and are told they must work together to survive. ‘ ‘ ‘ No one is particularly recognizable, minus Julie Benz of Showtime’s ‘Dexter.’ The film alternates between the cop stuff and this gauntlet of traps, and it is immediately clear that the group scenes are far more interesting than the cops. ‘ ‘ ‘ Unfortunately, the movie only spends about a third of its time on the group, and the cop scenes are split between the present and seven-too-many flashbacks from the first four films that intend to make the audience gasp with intriguing insight, but result only in groan after groan of been-there, done-that. ‘ ‘ ‘ One of the few positive things the movie has to offer is the self-awareness exhibited in the group scenes, especially when the characters first realize they’re in one of Jigsaw’s traps. They figure out every trap fairly quickly and seem like they have already gone through Deathtrap Bootcamp before arriving in the real thing. ‘ ‘ ‘ Or they just watched ‘Saw I-IV’ too many times. ‘ ‘ ‘ They apparently missed a lesson or two, though ‘mdash; they wind up duped because they didn’t really listen to the clues. A Homer Simpson-esque ‘d’oh!’ would be maddeningly appropriate here. ‘ ‘ ‘ Many will see this movie just to see what grisly new traps the writers have cooked up. Depending on the individual deathtrap appreciation quotient, many will find the traps lazy and uninspired, but brutal enough to satisfy whatever thirst it is that keeps the torture-porn horror sub-genre alive. ‘ ‘ ‘ Except for an interesting set-up where characters must saw their arms in half to fill a beaker full of blood, the most interesting trap in the entire film is the movie theater itself. ‘ ‘ ‘ The filmmaker’s are the real Jigsaw here, so be wary and you might survive