If you want to live, you will skip “Eagle Eye”

Forget any speculation about Big Brother monitoring our lives via the technology we have become… Forget any speculation about Big Brother monitoring our lives via the technology we have become so dependent on, because apparently, it’s really Big Sister who is in control. Or maybe this is just the only astute piece of commentary on the modern techno-political climate that the thriller ‘Eagle Eye’ can muster amid its rollicking action sequences and convoluted plot developments. This might sound as if the movie doesn’t give you the cheap thrills you would expect from such entertainment, but by the end credits, you will probably be satisfied with the enjoyment wrought from the film. The film certainly won’t, however, stick with you for longer than an hour after it’s over, despite the filmmaker’s blatant desire for it to do so. Jerry Shaw (Shia LaBeouf) is a bland man living a bland existence. After the death of his more successful twin brother, Jerry notices that his typically barren bank account is suddenly $750,000 larger, that dangerous contraband appears in his apartment and that a mysterious woman is prompting him via cell phone to do exactly what she commands if he wants to survive. Simultaneously, single mom Rachel Holloman (Michelle Monaghan) is at a bar with friends after sending her young son off on a train to play the trumpet in Washington, D.C. when she receives a similar phone call, except that this time it is her son who is the target. Needless to say, Jerry’s and Rachel’s paths cross, and they find themselves linked together at the mercy of this mysterious female voice, whose monotonically sinister drawl may give the on-screen actors a run for their money. It’s like a sexy, female GPS voice from hell. There are numerous other characters involved in the cat-and-mouse style setup, but Billy Bob Thornton, a cynical, no-nonsense FBI agent, is the only noteworthy one. He provides the film with some much-needed comic relief, as taking itself way too seriously seems to be an epidemic with every new thriller released these days. The movie’s story is unnecessarily complicated and filled with holes big enough to hide Shia LaBeouf’s ego. There are subplots involving botched anti-terrorism missions, presidential assassination schemes and a rogue computer, but all that matters is the generated suspense and the big explosions. No one will come to ‘Eagle Eye’ expecting something other than an easy, armrest-gripping thrill ride. The supposedly perceptive political commentary that the film presents (The government can hack into our cell phones? The Patriot Act controversy is so five years ago …) renders the film nearly irrelevant today, particularly in light of the upcoming election. It would be a lot easier to forgive the film for these flaws if it didn’t take itself so seriously. On the one hand, Caruso wants it to be a heart-pounding thriller, but he also tries way too hard to make the film sound intelligent. In the end, the two sides almost cancel each other out, though not entirely. What’s left is a film just entertaining enough, and with a fall film season that is expecting depressing heavy-hitters like ‘Doubt’ and ‘Changeling,’ the film lets viewers exhale their last breaths of the summer blockbuster. For this reason alone, it’s worth checking out. Another saving grace is the chemistry of the two leads. Jerry and Rachel interact, flirt and bicker in a very realistic manner, which is nice to see in a film that’s otherwise blithely aware of its genre expectations. The two actors refuse to settle for cliched performances and keep the movie from spiraling into standard popcorn fare. Shia LaBeouf, his impending alcoholism be damned, is so charismatic that it is easy to see why he is being called the actor of our generation. His appeal is especially effective in this type of role ‘mdash; as my date pointed out, ‘He’s like a hot, bad-boy college kid who doesn’t go to college.’ Well, exactly. Really, the only person who could persuade you to see this movie is you. You know what you’re getting into, and you probably know how you’ll feel about it afterward. I beg you, however, not to think too hard about it while it happens, because no matter how intellectually intriguing the trailers make the movie seem, that assumption will only result in the bitter aftertaste of an overcooked suspense flick. And now that I have ingested enough empty blockbuster action flicks to tide me over until next summer, I am more than ready for the gourmet pickings this fall has to offer. Just don’t tell the scary GPS lady I said so.