Comedian Mo Rocca: ‘All you need is a head.’

Mo Rocca knows the capitals of every country in the world. He has served as a ‘Daily Show’… Mo Rocca knows the capitals of every country in the world. He has served as a ‘Daily Show’ correspondent, ‘Iron Chef America’ judge, relationship expert on Bravo, editor for men’s magazine Perfect 10, played ‘Turista Numero Dos’ on a Telemundo telenovela, hosted a ‘Golden Girls’ marathon on Lifetime, been a panelist for NPR’s ‘Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me!’ a political pundit on any number of networks and perfected the art of cartwheeling while holding a full glass of water in his free hand without spilling a drop. Pitt students witnessed this last accomplishment last night during the Pitt Program Council’s ‘An Evening with Mo Rocca’ in the Assembly Room of the William Pitt Union, where Rocca spoke and, indeed, successfully cartwheeled. Rocca took the opportunity to lecture a full house on everything from his Gov. Sarah Palin obsession ‘mdash; ‘Track, Trig, Willow, Piper, Bristol, the whole cast of 90210 Alaska!’ ‘mdash; to casting oneself as an expert on practically anything, political punditry and his thoughts on the presidential race. After a spirited introduction and quasi-autobiographical slideshow ‘mdash; ‘quasi’ in this case meaning pictures of various celebrities with Rocca’s head edited into the background ‘mdash; Rocca prepared to impart what he considers his greatest skill to his audience. ‘I am actually an expert at sounding like an expert, and that’s why I called you all here today,’ said Rocca. ‘All you need is a head. I’m here to turn it into a talking head,’ he said. But during the question-and-answer portion of the talk, Rocca explained the difficulties and the disappointments of being a talking head in 2008. ‘When you’re on MSNBC or Fox News, you’re expected to adhere to the party line,’ said Rocca, a registered Independent. ‘It’s very difficult to be funny under those circumstances, because in order to be funny, you have to be unpredictable, and you can’t be if the audience sees your jokes coming.’ Rocca, demonstrating his expertise, offered the audience a brief course in presidential running mates 101. ‘Barack Obama had a number of people to choose from when picking a running mate,’ said Rocca. ‘But here’s what happened: He couldn’t choose John Edwards because John Edwards can’t keep his dick in his pants. ‘He couldn’t choose Chris Dodd because the man’s head is ginormous. It’s almost freakish. He couldn’t choose Janet Napolitano because Obama-Napolitano sounds like a coffee drink. ‘And he couldn’t pick Jesse Jackson because he’s scared shitless by him. Hillary too,’ said Rocca, to big laughs. McCain’s vice presidential denials made for a similarly funny list. But after saying Mitt Romney was out because McCain hates him, Huckabee is crazy, and Lieberman has the pesky little fact that he’s from the opposite party against him, Rocca ended with a straight analysis of Sarah Palin. ‘His choice of Palin was very interesting because by leaving a blank slate like this, it’s really savvy because it allows people to project whatever they want on her,’ said Rocca. He said he’s witnessed some of the stranger Palin mythologies firsthand after a man who read and was offended by Rocca’s listing of top Palin porn titles on MOROCCA180.com challenged him to a duel to defend the governor’s honor. ‘People are making her into whatever they want her to be, and sometimes it’s really odd,’ said Rocca. Finally, in homage to Pittsburgh, Rocca showed the audience a clip of himself at the 2006 Super Bowl between the Steelers and Seattle Seahawks. ‘I found it very odd that the Steelers didn’t have cheerleaders,’ said Rocca. So he cornered a hapless player and auditioned for the cheerleader role himself. ‘I have a cheer for you,’ said Rocca. ‘Steel is an alloy of iron and carbon! You can add nickel or manganese! Smelt it! Smelt it! You’ve got steel!’