Rapid fire: Syracuse’s Robinson doesn’t get it

‘ ‘ ‘ Who are we kidding? You and I both know we like it better this way … ‘ ‘ ‘ Joker style… ‘ ‘ ‘ Who are we kidding? You and I both know we like it better this way … ‘ ‘ ‘ Joker style ‘mdash; Here. We. Go. — Syracuse athletic director Daryl Gross told ESPN’s Ivan Maisel that he’s not happy with the Orange’s results under coach Greg Robinson. To this, Robinson said, ‘We’re capable of winning. People just don’t know it yet.’ Oh yeah, Greg? You’re 8-31 in the past five years. People might never get the chance to know it. — I’m very capable of being a top-flight model/actor. People just don’t know it yet. — Gross, by the way, came to ‘Cuse in 2004 after working in several capacities at USC. That’s like living on the French Riviera, then moving to Chernobyl for a challenge. Also see: David Beckham coming to the MLS. — Joe Paterno hopes to be on the sideline for Penn State’s game against Illinois this week … with an extra pair of pants. — This week’s Heisman Trophy dark horse: Iowa. — In related news, the dreaded Dan Marino throwback curse has been broken. Thank the Lord … and Dave Brytus. — The Associated Press reported that the NYPD charged 18 people with possessing stolen property after the Yankees’ final game at Yankee Stadium. One of them was Alex Rodriguez trying to escape with a clutch hit under his coat. — Lauren Conrad’s fashion line is the best selling of all celebrity lines in Bloomingdale’s, proving that she is indeed the only person on ‘The Hills’ who is not completely worthless and deserves to be on TV. — My roommate Ernie makes it into the Report this week for purchasing a killer dart board for two bucks ‘mdash; now the undisputed top purchase in three-plus years of college, in my books, trumping my mini basketball hoop freshman year. — Did anybody else catch the Jets fans on Monday night holding up four letters to the camera to spell J-E-S-T? How very appropriate. — Imagine coming to work every day as Lane Kiffin … (Kiffin opens the door to his office at the Raiders facility. His desk has been cleared off. His things are packed in a lonely cardboard box on the floor. He begins to unpack them …) Al Davis:’ (Wandering around) Just win, ba ‘- Oh, … Lane. Kiffin: Hi Al. Davis: (Surprised) You’re back? Kiffin: Yes. And I’m not going to sign that resignation letter you wrote for me. Davis: Oh that? Ancient history. But that reminds me … you got a package today. (Disappears momentarily. Comes back with letter.) Yeah, the delivery man said to just sign on that line down there, right above my signature. What do you think the package could be? Kiffin: This is the resignation letter, Al. Davis: Wha ‘mdash; it is? Oh, well isn’t that funny? I guess UPS wants you to resign, too. You probably should. You wouldn’t want to get any, well, you know, incriminating deliveries. Oh … here’s your package. Kiffin: Yeah. Wait, what? Davis: Hmm? — Roger Clemens was reportedly upset about being left off the Yankee Stadium tribute video. They must have misremembered that he was indeed a Yankee. — Is it worse that Jeff Garcia is married to a former Playboy Playmate of the Year, or that Tim Couch is? — Fantasy football ruins lives. — Well … I guess that’s it. NO … wait! I forgot to drink my EAS Myoplex shake! I don’t want to waste my column! Chug Now I’m done. E-mail Pat at pmitsch@gmail.com.