Not even Batman can sink ‘Titanic’ record

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Scarecrow. Joker. Two-Face. The RMS Titanic. Which of the former was… ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Scarecrow. Joker. Two-Face. The RMS Titanic. Which of the former was the only opponent to defeat Batman this summer? ‘ ‘ ‘ If you guessed the boat, you guessed right ‘mdash; despite breaking records faster than Michael Phelps, ‘The Dark Knight’ seems unable to dethrone ‘Titanic’ for having the highest domestic gross of all time, a record that James Cameron’s love story has held for 10 years. ‘ ‘ ‘ As of this weekend, Batman is about $110 million short of the record and losing momentum ‘mdash; it was recently bested by both ‘Death Race’ and ‘The House Bunny.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ How did it come so close, only to fizzle out? ‘ ‘ ‘ The answer is indicative of how much the cinematic experience has changed in 10 short years and why ‘Titanic’ is likely to never be beaten ‘mdash; it’s all home video’s fault. ‘ ‘ ‘ Think back to when you were probably about 10 years old ‘ ‘ ‘ Your mom loved ‘Titanic.’ She took you to see it, even though you were bored (until Kate Winslet got naked ‘mdash; then you were bored and seriously uncomfortable). ‘ ‘ ‘ She took your old man to see it 100 times, and you had to listen to ‘My Heart Will Go On’ on repeat in the car for months. ‘ ‘ ‘ But do you remember anyone caring when it came out on video? ‘ ‘ ‘ The monumental box office success of ‘Titanic’ is largely attributable to the awful state of home video 10 years ago. ‘ ‘ ‘ That thing was two VHS tapes, for crying out loud ‘mdash; nothing kills the mood like getting up and ejecting tape one right before Jack and Rose finally do it in the backseat of a Renault. ‘ ‘ ‘ Not to mention the issues of quality ‘mdash; with a DVD and a plasma screen, you can practically feel the northern Atlantic’s icy death grip from your living room, but if your VCR needs a head cleaning, you’ll be lucky if it doesn’t look like the ship is called ‘TEH OMGWTFBBQ.” ‘ ‘ ‘ The awful truth is that VHS sucked, and everyone knew it. ‘ ‘ ‘ The best solution was just to ignore the problem and leave the movie in theaters for as long as people would put up with it. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Titanic’ played in theaters for more than nine months ‘mdash; that’s long enough for someone to see the movie, get pregnant, have their baby and then go see the damn thing again. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘Dark Knight’ might have stood a chance, but its only hope was to get the same volume of audience in a fraction of the time. ‘ ‘ ‘ Studios want to strike while the iron is hot, giving DVD-collecting fans the chance to own their new favorite movie in gorgeous high-definition while they’re still glowing from seeing it in the theater. ‘ ‘ ‘ Other summer hits like ‘Iron Man’ and ‘Sex and the City’ will be available as soon as the end of September. ‘ ‘ ‘ That isn’t to suggest that the business of film distribution is worse with the advent of digital media, only different. ‘ ‘ ‘ Before watching movies at home was an option at all, prints of popular titles like ‘Gone with the Wind’ would tour the country city by city, making the chance to re-watch your favorite movie a momentous opportunity. ‘ ‘ ‘ Now you can buy edition after new edition, each more special than the last, and load them onto your phone to watch at the bus stop. ‘ ‘ ‘ Most people could barely afford a VCR when the first ‘Star Wars’ movie came out, but your average modern nerd probably owns at least five marginally different versions of it on DVD. ‘ ‘ ‘ Even ‘Hellboy II’ is being released soon in no less than five ‘mdash; yes, FIVE ‘mdash; editions of various covers, special features and collectible packages. ‘ ‘ ‘ Which brings us back to poor Batman. Sure, he put up a good fight, but not even the dark knight himself can defy the trends of consumerism. ‘ ‘ ‘ And while Batman’s latest won’t be able to beat ‘Titanic,’ its failure only indicates that the accessibility and quality of home entertainment is rising fast. ‘ ‘ ‘ Maybe in 50 years, when most people are just downloading blockbusters into their brains from the matrix, our grandkids will ask us what made ‘Titanic’ so special that it made people actually go to a movie theater to watch it.