April Fools’: Nader: the straw that broke the donkey’s ass

In a surprise turn of fortune, many political analysts are now predicting that Independent… In a surprise turn of fortune, many political analysts are now predicting that Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader will win the Pennsylvania state primary as a write-in candidate, taking an estimated 115 percent of the votes.

It seems that in their rampant crusade for Pennsylvania’s 21 electoral votes, the Democratic frontrunners Sen. Hillary Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama are actually deterring voters, many of whom are upset by the candidates’ do-whatever-it-takes, say-whatever-it-takes strategy.

According to an article titled “Clinton and Obama both suck, but who sucks more?” printed in a right-wing newsletter, 83 percent of Americans believe Obama is a terrorist, and a whopping 93 percent believe Hillary Clinton is a man.

Pittsburgh native 13-year-old Allison Spinach, who has followed this year’s election extremely closely, added, “It’s so sad that the Democratic Party has been reduced to a bunch of squabbling animals. Remember the good old days when we all complained together, as one united force against Bush? Alas, those days are gone now.”

Spinach was far from alone in this sentiment. Thousands of other Pennsylvanians are already protesting both Clinton and Obama, camping out weeks before the April 22 primary at voting stations across the state and wielding large signs that read, “We want Nader, not another hater!” Some rambunctious Democrats even dressed up like a dismembered donkey, a bold statement about what this primary election has done to the Democratic Party.

This backlash against inter-party politicking is definitely a long time coming, but I suspect that the recent introduction of physical violence – last week Clinton slapped Obama across the face after he reportedly called her trademark yellow suit “the ugliest thing I ever, ever seen