Boots: historical, functional footwear

April showers bring May flowers, but what they really should bring are useful rain boots, chic… April showers bring May flowers, but what they really should bring are useful rain boots, chic coats and stylish umbrellas. After all, it’s best to be prepared. No one likes soggy hair and ruined shoes. I am particularly against rain, especially the cold, disgusting kind that lasts all day, like we had last week. But, it reinforced the fact that it’s necessary to arm oneself with all the fashionable artillery necessary to successfully win the war on precipitation.

I know rain boots aren’t exceptionally fashionable: I must admit that last year I found them a little ridiculous for everyday wear. But I purchased some in June before traveling to Ireland with my family because my dad advised me to have some kind of shoe that wouldn’t leave my feet soaked on the perpetually rainy Emerald Isle. So I went to J.Crew and found a navy blue pair marked down from $60 to $11. What a steal, I thought.

But they paled in comparison to the black pair my little sister bought with yellow sailboats on them. Even with the curse of a popular shoe size, my basic pair really did get the job done. However, I haven’t worn them since because they are a bit boring compared to what’s out there now. Alas, it was a fashion emergency, so I did what I had to do. Now obviously the only logical thing to do is buy another pair. Right?

Rain boots are also known as Wellies, named after the first Duke of Wellington, who, in the mid 18th century, asked his shoemaker to modify his boots (that were normally worn with breeches) so that they would fit under his newly fashionable trousers. Eventually they caught on with a more mainstream audience, and now you can see Kate Moss strutting around Glastonbury festival in hot pants and her black Hunter Wellies, the original and best-known brand of boots. Glastonbury is an outdoor music festival, kind of along the same lines as Woodstock. Needless to say, it gets pretty muddy. Hunter Wellies come in basic shades and retail for about $60, but if you’re looking for something unique, I suggest looking elsewhere.

Like its bathing suits, Target offers a huge selection of rain boots in different colors and prints. It has solids, florals, polka dots, argyle, fish, stars, strawberries, hearts, swirls, stripes, giraffe skin, leopard skin, plaid, anchors, citrus fruits and skulls – and the list goes on and on. Though a bit excessive, the nice thing is that most pairs are only about $20 with a few styles offered with a wedge heel in case you need an extra few inches.

Nordstrom gets fancy with cupcakes and peacock-feather prints. The store also carries two styles that are supposed to make your foot look like either a ladybug or a frog with eyes on the toes, but I would suggest leaving those on the shelf unless you really want to look like you’re on your way home from kindergarten.

If you’re an animal lover but don’t want to express this through transforming your foot into your favorite critter, don’t worry – J.Crew’s got your back. They have flamingoes, seahorses, whales, Dalmatians and elephant prints that are sure to brighten up even the dampest of days.

But the rain boot I am most lusting after at the moment are the pink PVC Chanel Wellies featured in the March issue of Teen Vogue. The only gray cloud in this otherwise sunny picture is the $275 price tag.

And clearly, we can’t let every time we leave the house on a rainy day turn into a wet T-shirt contest, so a raincoat is a necessity. Macy’s features fabulous trench coats by Kenneth Cole, Lauren by Ralph Lauren, and Jessica Simpson that come in a variety of colors and lengths, some in metallic and satin materials. Brightly colored anoraks cinched at the waist are also popular.

And you can’t go wrong with a classic. Burberry offers a raincoat in both red and black lined with its signature plaid for $550. Yeah, it’s a lot. But I imagine you’d have it forever. Burberry’s belted laminated short trenches also present a modern twist on this timeless piece.

And to match your new Burberry coat, you can buy the signature plaid umbrella for $135 at Saks. A little ridiculous, right? I thought that, too, when my sister wanted a $60 Lacoste umbrella for Christmas, but after my $6 umbrella broke after about two days, I think its probably best to invest a little more in this practical accessory.

At Coach you can find umbrellas in the signature “C” pattern along with scarf prints for $88. Not sure if I would pay that much, but with glass and bamboo handles, these are a very stylish option. I’d watch for them at the outlets.

My personal and more affordable pick at $35 is from Target. With a blue sky and big, fluffy clouds printed on the underside of the umbrella it at least gives the illusion of a sunny day when you glance upward.

So maybe you can’t deck yourself out in Chanel rain boots and Burberry trenches, but I do suggest getting some tiny shorts and Hunter Wellies and wearing them Kate Moss-style.

In the words of Rihanna, you’ll have everyone wanting to stand under your “umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay.”