Rove says how to become prez

If you didn’t know that Karl Rove was speaking at Pitt last night, it didn’t take much more… If you didn’t know that Karl Rove was speaking at Pitt last night, it didn’t take much more than a walk past the William Pitt Union to find out.

“Put your hands in the air if you’re here to protest Karl Rove!” student Enrico Pocci yelled to the gaggle of protestors assembled outside the Union.

Sandwiched between the Union’s front doors and a faction of Pitt police, the crowd of about two dozen protesters pounded their drums and brandished their signs in protest of the former deputy chief of staff and senior adviser to President George W. Bush.

“We want to protest the fact that yet again our University is paying another person to come speak on our campus who set our country back 100 years,” Rainbow Alliance President Aaron Arnold said.

While Arnold was leading the protest – holding a sign that read “Rove/Cheney ’08: Four More Wars” – he said the protesters were not solely members of his organization.

“One hundred years from now, the history books will be calling this man a lunatic who took over our country,” Arnold said.

With his reputation preceding him, Karl Rove addressed a crowd of students in the Assembly Room last night where he was welcomed by a chorus of boos underpinning the roar of a standing ovation.

After the commotion died down, Rove took the opportunity to poke fun at himself.

“After my speech, we’ll answer and duck some questions,” he said. “I’m really good at the ducking part.” Rove proceeded to deliver a speech detailing 35 rules one must follow in order to win a presidential election, such as “have a plan for your campaign” and “don’t forget caucuses.”

After reciting his rules, Rove fielded questions from the audience, denying an array of accusations made against him, challenging his questioners to produce evidence backing their allegations.

“I’m accused of a lot of things because I’m an evil genius,” Rove said.

When a student asked about allegations that Rove had planted bugs in the office of his democratic opponents, and his counter claim that the reverse was true, Rove took the opportunity to plug his book.

“They did in fact bug my office and you can read the details about it in my book, available for $25 on Amazon.com,” Rove said.

When asked about his position regarding gay marriage, a questioner pointed out that Rove was raised by a gay man.

“And where have you met my father?” Rove responded.

After Rove denied all accusations made by numerous questioners, a student asked him if he had committed any actions he would repent for. “No,” he responded, to the laughter of the front half of the room.

College Democrats President Lissa Geiger didn’t think that Rove’s presentation was all that funny.

“He just talked about how to become president. I was surprised how uncontroversial his statements were,” Geiger said.

Geiger said the opportunity for students to ask questions was all a sham.

“During the question-and-answer portion, it became clear after the third or fourth question that he was just going to deny everything,” she said. “I think the demands he was putting on the questioners made it obvious he wasn’t willing to talk about what he has done.”

In addition to fielding negative questions, Rove gave his opinion on the 2008 presidential election.

While Rove said that usually a long primary process can hurt a party, he said “it may be that this year, by having a longer primary, the Democrats are helping themselves by staying in the news.”