The Teenagers might need a reality check

Reality…Reality Check The Teenagers Beggars XI Recording Rocks like: She Wants Revenge, Art Brut

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London/Paris band The Teenagers is hardly master of the double entendre. Laced with expletives and crude imagery, its latest album, Reality Check, isn’t one to bring home to mother or anyone else who’s easily offended.

The best way to describe the band’s sound is if She Wants Revenge took to producing its hits ’80s-style and hired an Art Brut-like vocalist, minus the appealing accent and quirky, humorous lyrics.

Take away any trace of talent just for good measure. Using the aforementioned bands is actually an insult, so don’t misunderstand: The Teenagers isn’t Art Brut.

“Homecoming” starts off promising with an intriguing instrumental backing. This is the thrilling tale of an Englishman who visits his aunt in San Diego and meets her sexy stepdaughter. Can you tell where this is going? That’s right – nothing like keeping romance in the family.

And lyrics like: “Don’t forget to send me a friend request! / As if!” make the track sound straight out of “Clueless.” “As if!” hasn’t gotten much play in the last 13 years. Is it possible that your age is showing, Teenagers?

The band tries to address the most pressing issues on young people’s minds, and Reality Check aims for eloquent poetry akin to Romeo’s romantic expressions of love for Juliet.

Yet the closest these three Casanovas get to expressing anything other than out-of-control hormones is plugging their own band in the songs.

If they sing “Teenagers” one more time, they win a free T-shirt – from themselves. There are some great little-known bands out there, and it’s wonderful to discover those hidden gems. However, on occasion – and in The Teenagers’ case – bands are little-known for a reason.

Perhaps this is a bit harsh, but vulgarity and talk-singing have to be done a certain way. First of all, bands shouldn’t take themselves so seriously. Second, they should have integrity.

A band can sing about conquests and bad breakups all it wants, but it should have some killer tunes to back the rants. No one wants to hear talk about sleeping with a “stepcousin or whatever” unless the melody genuinely impresses.

Lastly, the band shouldn’t plug itself 700 times in every song. One verse states, “If you need a band