Definitely a rom-com mix of love and despair

“Definitely, Maybe” Directed by Adam Brooks Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Elizabeth Banks, Isla Fisher, Rachel Weisz

out of

For good or ill, “Definitely, Maybe” is one of the most realistic love stories you’re likely to see anytime soon. If you’ve ever been lonely, sad, single or in love, you’ll probably find something in this movie to identify with.

That guarantee comes with the unfortunate caveat that most of this movie is melancholy, and though you’ll empathize with it, you probably won’t want to.

Ryan Reynolds plays Will Hayes, a recent divorcee who seemingly hasn’t aged in 15 years – flashbacks to his college days reveal an identical face.

His contritely clever and precocious daughter Maya (Abigail Breslin) has decided that the wake of a painful divorce is the ideal time to ask about her parents’ first meeting and subsequent doomed relationship, and Will is happy to oblige.

The only condition is that while he will tell the story of his most serious girlfriends, he won’t reveal which one is Maya’s mother. So back we go to 1992 when the story of Will’s turbulent love life begins.

Most of the movie takes place in this flashback to the ’90s, something you’ll be reminded of about twice per minute.

The cultural references are treated with the same subtlety and tact that “The Wedding Singer” had for the ’80s – Will has never heard of Nirvana, cell phones are as big as bricks, and people shrug off George W. Bush when he appears on TV.

Once the major players are introduced – namely, his trio of potential wives – the dialogue is able to carry itself without the tongue-in-cheek condescension and a charming, relatable story quickly emerges.

Do not, however, go into this movie thinking that it’s a traditional romantic comedy. Yes, it is romantic and certainly funny, but never at the same time.

Let’s face the sad truth: Unless you’re Hugh Grant, romance is rarely a funny thing. Love and relationships are often as difficult as they are rewarding, a fact that this movie doesn’t shy away from.

Will’s relationships are difficult to reconcile as successes or failures, and there’s no one woman you’d be unhappy to see him with in the end.

Instead, each relationship is plagued by believable doubts and insecurities that eventually lead to its dissolution. That’s where the melancholy comes from – the terrifying realism with which each potentially life-long love meets its premature demise.

Regardless of whom Will marries in the story, you already know that the marriage has failed. If there’s any way he can salvage a happy ending for himself after that, it’s still taken the poor guy 15 years to get to where he is when the story opens.

That said, this is still a very sweet and funny movie, especially for a genre so diluted. Ryan Reynolds is surprisingly convincing as a dad, despite not looking a day older than he did 10 years ago on ABC’s “Two Guys and a Girl.”

Realism to this effect in a romantic comedy may not necessarily be a good thing, though.

Seeing Will’s life fall apart to varying degrees after each breakup is a sobering reminder of the frailty of relationships – you’ll find yourself missing the conventionalism of Hugh Grant winning his dream girl with just a hope and a charming accent.

Is “Definitely, Maybe” worth seeing? Yes, but not alone. This is not the film to watch with a pint of Ben ‘ Jerry’s, unless you want to be tempted to switch it out for a bottle of Jack.

If you’re looking for a clever and entertaining date movie, though, it fits the bill. It’s definitely as cute as it could be – just maybe not as optimistic.