A columnist’s guide to messing with an opponent

One of the greatest things about sports is that all different types of people can join… One of the greatest things about sports is that all different types of people can join together as fans of one team and rally behind it.

Whether it’s a group of people cheering on their team in-person with nothing on their upper halves but body paint, or a group of friends who meet at someone’s house to watch a game and alternate seats after every bad play, or switch houses altogether after a loss. In some way, all fans like to think they play a part in the game. But what good can a seating arrangement do? And how do people expect to win a game for their team just by spelling out a name?

At least toss an exclamation point on the end of the name, or have one person paint a colon on their stomach and another paint parentheses. This way, when things are going well, the team can have a smiley face, or if things aren’t going well, the person with the parentheses can stand on his head and make an unhappy face.

It’s about time fans actually started to affect outcomes instead of using superstitions and praying to sports gods for the best. While it’s fun in mythology, polytheism doesn’t win sports games. WLUK-TV in Green Bay has the right idea. The station announced that it planned on pulling an episode of “Seinfeld” last Saturday because it learned the show was a favorite of Eli Manning, quarterback for the New York Giants, who were in town to play the Packers in the NFC championship game that Sunday.

The ploy didn’t work out too well – the Giants won 23-20 in overtime, and they are now on their way to the Super Bowl. But even in failure, the station’s efforts should be praised. It was a clever way to try to make an opposing player somewhat uncomfortable before a big game. Now, would Manning be in his hotel room the day before a playoff game watching a TV show? Probably not, but still a valiant effort.

Also, before last weekend, a Florida woman had a restraining order placed on New England Patriots’ wide receiver Randy Moss, claiming he physically abused her and wouldn’t allow her to seek medical treatment. Moss denied the allegations, but the Fort Lauderdale judge placed a temporary restraining order on the star receiver. It’s also come out to the public that, according to the Boston Herald, the woman was seeking $500,000 from Moss before she made the allegations public and has a history of not being able to pay her rent.

Legal matters, such as claiming to be a victim of battery, aren’t things to play around with. I wouldn’t recommend trying out an idea like this one, or anything else that brings the court system into play. It’s just inappropriate.

Now, that doesn’t mean restraining orders already in progress shouldn’t be considered off limits. If a player has a restraining order on him, the opposing team should really start using this as an advantage. Make the restrainer a temporary coach. Or better yet, starting free safety.

Oh yeah, I like that idea.

What it comes down to is trying to mentally throw a player off his game by affecting his lifestyle. One great person to have on your side would be a hotel employee, presumably someone working at the hotel where the opposing team is staying. Otherwise, that person is more or less useless.

But should the person be on the proper hotel staff, imagine the havoc one could wreak. It’s a fact Tom Brady wouldn’t be nearly as great if he didn’t have his pillows fluffed and extra blankets delivered to his hotel room. A made-up fact, yes, but has anyone tried doing either to see if it’s true? We’ll never know unless someone tries.

Maybe taking away his favorite show didn’t hurt Manning, but how about a 3 a.m. wake-up call? Of course doing any of this will most likely get your hotel-worker friend fired, but that’s a risk worth taking.

After all, what’s more important, a concierge job or helping out your favorite sports team because you have little faith in them?