A tribute to the artist known as Gavin

The history of rock ‘n’ roll is filled with plenty of larger-than-life personalities, mythical… The history of rock ‘n’ roll is filled with plenty of larger-than-life personalities, mythical stories and countless examples of complete bad-assery. Gavin Rossdale, however, encompasses none of those. Here is the story of the guy who, for some reason or another, has always been just short of awesome.

At face value, the life of Gavin Rossdale must be considered a success. He not only fronted the ’90s rockers Bush, but also is married to a total rock ‘n’ roll babe named Gwen Stefani and, possibly most incredibly, wrote a song that was featured on the soundtrack to the movie “xXx,” starring the also almost-awesome Vin Diesel.

Not a bad life, right? Well, if you’re satisfied with perpetual almost-awesomeness, then yes. Because, you see, Rossdale throughout his entire career has always been outshined by something.

But this never sat well with Gavin Rossdale, as he was never one to play second fiddle. After all, he did famously sing, “My machine-head, better than the rest.” And, though I’m not sure what a machine-head is, I’d imagine that it’s synonymous with at least one of the following: “Ability to score with groupies,” “Tattoo artist in North Hollywood” or “Collection of leather pants.”

When all is considered, each portion of his personal and professional life examined, it does become clear that Gavin Rossdale is the guy who has never gotten a break. Bummer, too, because the song “Glycerine” was pretty good. So without further ado, let us explore further into the sad case of Mr. Rossdale.

Gavin McGregor Rossdale was born on Halloween in 1967. When Gavin was 24, he moved from London to Los Angeles, where he remained for about six months until soaking up enough American rawk-attitude to return to native England and form a band. Said band was called The Diceheads, as well as Future Primitive, before finally deciding on the far simpler Bush.

Now Bush released its debut album, Sixteen Stone, in 1994. Not ironically, this marked Rossdale’s first near-miss with being awesome. You see, in 1994, grunge was still quite awesome. Nirvana put out Unplugged shortly before Kurt Cobain killed himself, Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy had just become the second-fastest-selling record in history and Soundgarden had released the inarguably awesome Superunknown (the one with “Black Hole Sun”).

And wouldn’t you know it, Bush just missed the awesome boat. The band’s Sixteen Stone, which came out at the tail end of the year, had all the rough guitars and loud choruses/soft verses of grunge music, but overwhelmingly got slapped with the label post-grunge and was largely critically dismissed. And it’s not a terrible album, either. It’s got “Machinehead,” with that pretty rad guitar part and, as mentioned above, the ballad “Glycerine,” as well as “Everything Zen” and “Comedown.”

Nonetheless, the album never received the same kind of respect as its grunge forefathers. Maybe it’s because the record sounded like a knockoff of the just-knocked-off Nirvana (too soon?). Or maybe it’s because the band is British and no one wanted to think of Kurt Cobain with an accent. He was American, damnit. Either way, front man Gavin Rossdale just never made it to awesomehood.

Bush’s next album, Razorblade Suitcase, was both more interesting and daring than Sixteen Stone, but true to Rossdale’s never-got-a-break form, it sold less than half of its predecessor.

Unfortunately for Rossdale, while Sixteen Stone was criticized as a Nevermind rip-off, the more expansive Suitcase marked for death as an In Utero imitation.

Alas, even Rossdale’s attempt to break out of a cliche got him cast in another. Bush released two more albums before breaking up in 2002, having survived two full years of sharing its name with a total idiot. Ouch.

Hoping to bounce back, Rossdale formed a new band called Institute soon after Bush’s demise. Institute released one album in 2005, which peaked at No. 81 on the Billboard charts. It also kinda sucked. Sorry Gavin.

But the never-quite-awesomeness doesn’t stop there. In 2002, Rossdale married Gwen Stefani, who, at the time, was still fronting No Doubt and singing hit songs about her ex-boyfriend, who just so happens to be No Doubt bassist Tony Kanal.

Both Rossdale and Stefani took time off from bands to work on solo material shortly thereafter. One of them has enjoyed massive success, releasing two albums in the past four years featuring two of the biggest singles in recent memory, starting a fashion line and becoming the idol of teen girls everywhere. The other one is Gavin Rossdale.

Plus, Stefani still writes songs about her relationship with Kanal, which ended 12 years ago, while generally staying away lyrically from Rossdale, who is her husband. Yet further adding to the almost-awesome list, Rossdale also found out he had an illegitimate child from a fling with a former model, a would-be cool move for a rock star. Just not when the rock star has a wife.

So there you have it, the almost-awesome life and career of Gavin Rossdale. He came so close to being so cool, but he just never caught a break. So Gavin McGregor Rossdale, I salute you.

Not only have you dealt with your non-awesomeness, but you’ve stuck in there like a trooper. You’re only 40, so your time may still come, but until then, stay strong, stay musically angst-ridden and stay not-quite-awesome. It suits you well.