2015: The year of the lawsuit

As we settle into 2015, major lawsuits are already pending. From Congress suing the President over Obamacare to another alleged sexual assault lawsuit against comedy icon Bill Cosby, the world is getting better one ruling at a time. However, while you might hear about high profile cases the most, it is a civil lawsuit, one of the estimated 15 million per year, that is the true hero.

For one, without concerned citizens, like the Idaho inmates who sued eight brewers for failing to warn them of the effects of alcohol and inducing their lives of crime, where would all of our lawyers work? Where would they find their significance? The United States would have even more J.D. holders without actual law positions than the 43.8 percent that the group Law School Transparency calculated for the class of 2012. It would also be tragic if people like the gentlemen who sued Subway for not actually having “foot-long” sandwiches suddenly found less things to sue about. This may cause the unthinkable: more unemployed lawyers. To start,  only 84.5 percent of 2013 law school graduates were employed at all, according to a report by the National Association for Law Placement. Law students couldn’t possibly stoop to having a lower unemployment rate than the regular recently graduated undergraduate student, whose unemployment rate, according to the Economic Policy Institute, totals 16.8 percent.  While some might call these types of lawsuits frivolous, we should remember that they support the legions of lawyers that coincidentally outnumber soldiers, doctors and firefighters, respectively. No lawsuit is too frivolous when it goes toward supporting the pillars of society that are lawyers.

In addition to giving lawyers something to do, lawsuits also enhance democracy. After all, what better way is there to ensure democracy than by giving more power to a group of elite lawyers: judges. Thanks to a plethora of lawsuits, judges not only preside over multimillion dollar judgments but also have the chance to invalidate local, state and federal laws that range from the far-reaching Affordable Care Act to California’s ban on the delicacy foie gras. Concentration of power into one branch of the government might appear undemocratic, but that is a misperception. Everyone from a sheriff in Arizona to Congress itself asks the federal court system to protect them against the federal government’s tyranny.          

Lawsuits also ensure that important issues get the proper attention they deserve. For example, without lawsuits over injuries incurred while sledding, cities such as Des Moines, Iowa, Montville, N.J., Lincoln, Neb. and Columbia City, Ind. would never have thought to restrict sledding. Now those cities warn citizens of the dangers of sledding, and certain cities banned sledding altogether for the safety of their inhabitants The estimated 87 percent of voters that believe there are too many lawsuits should remember that, without lawsuits, these type of issues would tragically be ignored. If they had their way, which thankfully is unlikely to happen, class action lawsuits over sprouts on a Jimmy John’s sandwich would be unlikely to happen and justice would not be served. And we just can’t afford to experience that tragedy.

Of course, like freedom, being the most litigious nation in the world doesn’t come for free. Some estimates put the direct cost of America’s lawsuits at around $250 billion a year — around 2 percent of the GDP. Proponents of legal reform complain that these costs harm businesses and consumers alike. This all might be true, but, the value of lawsuits far outweighs the cost of them. lawsuits are so undeniably American. Reason being: lawsuits allow you not only to complain loudly about minor grievances, but also assert that a constitutional right means that common sense is optional.

That is why I am issuing you this challenge: find someone or something to sue in 2015. It will not be easy — you might have to slip on someone’s driveway or intentionally run in front of a bus — but it will be worth it! But, if that is too hard, even if you merely threaten to sue a restaurant for not serving you fast enough, you will be bettering the world. This year, high-profile lawsuits will dominate headlines, like last year and the year before that, but it will take the actions of all Americans to truly make this year the best it can be — that is, the year of the lawsuit.        

Eli writes a biweekly satirical column for The Pitt News.

Write to Eli at ejt26@pitt.edu