Just In It For The Music: Don’t be “That Guy” when you go to a show

There are few things as joyous as seeing one of your favorite bands live. That said, there… There are few things as joyous as seeing one of your favorite bands live. That said, there are few things as heinous as the jerk who manages to ruin it.

How could someone take away from the greatness that is live music, you ask? Well, aside from cutting the power at a non-acoustic show or actually shooting a band member while the band is onstage (which has happened before – R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell), there are three simple jerk-moves that one could partake in if he wanted to ruin the show and have the crowd hate him.

I like to call them “Three Ways to Be ‘That Guy’ Who is Somehow at Every Show I Go To,” and they are as follows: yelling at the opening band, trying to start an unwarranted mosh pit and crowd surfing.

Before you decide that the following diatribes are ridiculous, I’m just no fun and you’d never want to take me with you to see the Spice Girls reunion tour, please, read on.

While watching a movie is entertainment, as we simply sit in a chair, relax and watch the screen, a good live show is an experience.

It is the communication of a band’s music to the audience, where the audience members get to respond to the music, to each other and to the band – the whole thing could be seen as a sort of conversation, where the language is music and everyone gets to speak. Yes, I know this all sounds cheesy, but if you’ve ever been to a great, even life-changing live show, you know what I mean.

Part of the beauty of live music is that it is, well, alive. This isn’t listening to your iTunes while doing homework in the library; this is an in-your-face performance with real people, real sounds and real emotions, all happening before your eyes. It’s no wonder, then, that live music can evoke such intense responses from an audience.

Experiencing the energy of a metal or hardcore show, for example, will make it difficult not to jump around, or even dive into a death-defying mosh pit. Really, any response you may have to live music is acceptable – be it dancing, jumping, moshing or just standing in the corner and appreciating – as long as the music warrants such a response.

In other words, don’t be surprised if the preteen girls at the Hannah Montana show give you a weird look when you try to start a mosh pit. It’s not nice to elbow a sixth grader in the jaw. She’ll need new braces, and that’s expensive.

But enough about live music: Let’s talk about the jerks who ruin it.

The first way to lessen the experience of a live show is to heckle the bands. There is always someone at any given show who feels that it is his job, as the audience comedian, to yell things like “Bring out (headlining band),” “Nice hair, fairy” or “Play (song that the band did not write, but was written by a band with a similar name)!” Unfortunately for this poor soul, he is unaware that he is actually a jerk and that the rest of the audience hates him.

By yelling such foolish remarks, this chap is not only offending the band and the audience but also showing everyone that he truly doesn’t understand or respect whichever band it is that he came to see.

To yell at a band during the show is rude, sure, but also disregards the fact that the band members are real people. Shout at MTV all you want – no one will care except your roommates, who will likely think you need to get out more. But he who yells at the band in the anonymity of the crowd is simply saying something he wouldn’t have the guts to say were he alone with the band.

In other words, to heckle a band is to be a big wuss, and that makes the other audience members lose all respect for said heckler, as most people go to a show because they actually like the band, or at the very least, respect the bands who are opening for the band they like. It’s simple courtesy.

Next comes the dreaded “starting an unwarranted mosh pit.” Earlier, I wrote how any response to live music is cool, because it is derives from the feeling the show gives you. Bands like Anti-Flag and The Bled have caused some of the rowdiest, black-eye-producing mosh pits I’ve ever been a part of.

But there is no way, and I mean no way, that the music of, say, Ben Folds, would make you want to punch people in the face and run around in a circle. And yes, that happened. Here at Pitt, Bigelow Bash, 2006. God help us all.

To start a mosh pit when the music doesn’t call for it suggests several things, the most likely of which is that you aren’t actually listening to the music, went to the show because you heard the band is ‘badass’ and you’re taking out pent-up aggression on people you don’t know because it makes you feel tough. Not because the music moved you.

Well, guess what. You’re not tough: The audience thinks you’re lame, and all those awkward stares are because no one moshes to slow songs, not because everyone is admiring how much you throw down.

Last comes crowd surfing. While crowd surfing is fantastic for the one doing it, it isn’t so fantastic for the many that you land on or kick in the face. In fact, it feels pretty awful.

Now, I’ve crowd surfed before, but at the time I was an eighth-grader seeing Weezer, and I weighed less than 90 pounds. The air coming out of the amplifiers could’ve carried me just as well as the audience.

But to be much heavier than that and to think crowd surfing is a good idea is just foolish, because you will, without a doubt, kick several people in the head before falling hard to the ground, usually with several innocents under you.

And to say crowd surfing is your way of experiencing the music is impossible, because you’ll be too focused on not dying to even know what band is playing. I mean, hell, I think I saw Weezer.

So go to a show, rock out and have a good time, whether that means sitting down or jumping around. Just make sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it because the music makes you, not because you think it’s cool. Ben Folds would’ve appreciated it.