Coming soon: Halloween, Part II

Halloween is the only time of year when Super Mario smokes a cigarette and walks with his… Halloween is the only time of year when Super Mario smokes a cigarette and walks with his girlfriend, the devil, while he talks on his cell phone to Abe Lincoln. It is a time of fellowship, especially if a group of friends dresses up as the Fellowship of the Ring. For one fun weekend, people become something completely different than what they really are and they can get lost in this persona, forgetting all the troubles in their real lives. It’s hard to worry about a western civilization class when you’ve actually become King Leonidas.

Since Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year there is a unique opportunity to celebrate for two weekends in a row. This means more candy, more ghouls and more frightening news reports about razors in candy apples.

Part one of this two-week extravaganza is over. This past weekend, a wide variety of costumes roamed the streets. There was a naughty firefighter. There was a naughty nurse. I saw a naughty schoolteacher. At one point there was a naughty Mother Theresa.

However, everyone knows that it is lame to go out as the same thing for two weekends in a row. Being a vampire both weekends shows a lack of imagination and desire to truly celebrate this pagan festival appropriately. Personally, I’d like to raise the bar this coming weekend. I would like to see a city full of costumes that I’ve never seen before.

Everyone has seen enough Borats walking around. People are growing weary of naughty cheerleaders – well, maybe not that weary. It is no longer funny when a couple goes out dressed as an outlet and an electric plug. This sort of thing will get you on College Humor, but it won’t get you in the history books.

Since everyone has already dressed as the common things this past weekend, how about changing things on part two of Samhain? A lot of people go out dressed as celebrities, but everyone chooses the easy personalities: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Anna Nicole Smith, The Pope.

No one really thinks beyond tabloids. A pair of jumbo ears could make a great Ben Stiller costume. All that it requires is getting into awkward situations and starring in mediocre romantic comedies. The latter part is not as hard as it sounds. If Hugh Grant can do it, anyone can.

More inventive Halloween costumes can also prevent attending a lame party hosted by exhaustingly boring people. Not attending a party at all can be a costume. Imagine this conversation:

“Dude, why didn’t you come to my totally awesome Halloween party?”

“I was there, Jerry. I went as the Invisible Man.”

“Well I didn’t see you, Mitch.”

“Wouldn’t have been a very good costume if you did, would it?”

“Touche, broseph. Touche.”

One popular costume theme is mythical monsters and beings. People dress as Centaurs, Minotaurs, Leprechauns and fairies. But not many people dress as the less popular creatures. I’d like to see someone dress as the Drop Bear, a fictional Australian marsupial. This creature is a carnivorous oversized koala bear that jumps down from trees onto its prey. For too long, the drop bear has received very little recognition as a mythical creature. I have tried to organize a lobby in Washington, D.C., dealing with this very subject, but I think costume representation on Halloween would work much better.

Putting a twist on an old standard would work great too. Halloween at college is notorious for the scantily clad nature of the female costume. I would never suggest that girls dress like nuns – although sexy nun is a good one – but I think the simple addition of the word “sexy” to any costume is a bit too simple. Why not add some complexity to the character?

Is she just a sexy police officer? Why would a police officer choose this revealing garb? Perhaps she feels that this is the only way she can get the higher ups at the station to notice her. If so, use makeup that suggests this. Try to convey weariness. Under the sexiness is an exhausted woman.

Instead of being a sexy devil, why not go the opposite route? Imagine how it would feel to be the devil. After being cast out of heaven into a fiery abyss, I cannot imagine Beelzebub feeling very good about himself. If this is perhaps the first time the devil is walking on earth in woman form, he would probably dress a bit more conservatively. He would try to create an aura of sexiness but still preserve his dignity. So dressing like a sexy devil works, but maybe he’d wear a dress that covers his shoulders.

There are many more possibilities. From Ben Stiller to the shy she-devil, the variety of Halloween costumes is limitless. It is time that students across the nation break out of the box of common costumes. It usually comes once a year, but this time it’s happening twice. This generation has the chance to make a difference through costumes. We cannot let our children’s children down.

E-mail Josh your costume idea at jmg77@pitt.edu.