Loving robots is not a crime … yet

If David Levy from the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands is right, it is only… If David Levy from the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands is right, it is only going to be about 40 years until people start falling in love with robots. The potential sci-fi plot of love at first byte is becoming more and more a feasible reality. Levy explains this in his work that recently got him a Ph.D.

In an article from MSNBC, Levy explains that robots are continually becoming similar in appearance to human beings. He also argues that there are about a dozen factors that make a person fall in love and almost all of them could apply to human-robot relationships.

Physical appearance can be created. Similarities in personality and worldview can be programmed. Reciprocated feelings can be programmed as well. Basically, if some guy wants a hot, intelligent robot that really enjoys baseball to fall in love with him, science can make it happen.

This scientific development raises many ethical questions. Should robosexuals receive the same rights as normal, heterosexual couples? Even worse, how long will it be until same-sex human-robot couples emerge? It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Gort.

But really, robots cannot be the “same sex” as people because, well, they’re robots. And it is not as if someone in a relationship with a robot would be hurting anyone. I mean, as long as their spouse isn’t the T-1000.

Come to think of it, there are a lot of potential positives to robosexuality. If more people married robots, there would be less children being born and the population could be lowered to a more manageable level.

Also, since robots and humans could not really have a child – even if they consummate their relationship – this could lead to more adoption. Children without homes could potentially find loving, metallic parents.

Perhaps the most important positive is that sad, lonely people could potentially find love. If you’re able to just forget about the fact that everything your spouse says, does, thinks and feels has been programmed, then marrying a robot could be easy. Besides, half the things people in real married couples say, do, think and feel has been programmed into them.

Just think of a world where no one has to settle for anything but perfection. You don’t like the hand-shaped birthmark on your girlfriend’s face? Just have a robot version of her created. Get rid of that nasty imperfection without the Hawthornesque consequences.

Imagine sitting on a rocking chair on the front porch. You’ve become old and shriveled. But guess what? Your wife is still as perfect as the day she came off the assembly line.

There will be no more pesky in-laws. No more meeting parents – if only this robot development came sooner, it could have made Ben Stiller’s movie obsolete. No more trying to impress and woo the friends of a special girl. Basically, if we marry robots we won’t have to talk to real people anymore if we don’t want to.

Levy also explains in the article that this is not a new idea. Countless science fiction plots have revolved around this premise. The idea of falling in love with an artificial or mechanical being is even seen in Greek mythology. The sculptor Pygmalion falls in love with Galatea, whom he made out of ivory. Venus eventually comes down and grants the sculpture life.

The article also cites a case from 40 years ago, when a scientist noticed students becoming attracted to ELIZA, a computer program that was designed to mimic a psychotherapist.

If the upcoming movie “Lars and the Real Girl” is any indication, Levy might not be far off. To sum up this film in one sentence, a guy falls in love with a blowup doll.

Even Winona Ryder once fell in love with Edward Scissorhands.

But from where does this strange aspect of human culture come? Companies already sell life-like sex dolls. People have been looking at the flat images of pornography for a long time. Have you seen the videogame “Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball?”

If Lara Croft’s pixilated bosom is what people want, then what does this all say about the future of humankind? Are we doomed to a future of sitting in our homes with something that appears to be human on the outside, but is made up of circuits and breakers on the inside?

Are we losing a human-to-human connection with one another?

Even worse, if I go to the wedding of a man and robot couple, what do I buy them as a present? How can I buy them a blender if one is a guest at the ceremony?

Not convinced? Email Josh at jmg77@pitt.edu and he’ll show you the movie “Bicentennial Man.” That’s enough to scare anyone.