The rules my campers taught me

This summer, I worked as a cabin counselor for nine fabulous weeks at a Jewish overnight… This summer, I worked as a cabin counselor for nine fabulous weeks at a Jewish overnight camp in Waynesboro, Pa. I lived in a cute wooden cabin with a bunch of 8 and 9-year-olds, depending on the session, and I pretty much spent my days getting paid to play tag, sing silly songs, eat peanut butter and jelly and answer such challenging questions as “How long is shower hour?”

It was a beautiful experience as always.

I am surprised every year at how much I can learn from kids so young. My campers were about to enter third or fourth grade, for the most part. Yet they knew more about cooperation than I do. I’ve been around an entire decade longer than they have, and yet, they taught me volumes about teamwork, patience, friendship and fun. You’ve probably heard these expressions before, but now, out of the mouths of babes:

1.Watch your mouth. For them, this means that words like “sucks,” “shut up” and “stupid” are highly inappropriate. Even if it’s OK to use those words in conversation by the time we get to college, we do have a whole new set of swear words. And, shit, we really do overuse them. OK, seriously: Why does just about everything make us angry enough to drop the f-bomb? Let’s lighten up, OK?

2.It’s what’s inside that counts. In the context of college, that’s usually a bunch of bull, I know. But among my campers, the only physical difference that gets in the way of a potential friendship is their sex. (Cooties! Ew!) Taller kids and smaller kids; kids with large noses, mouths and teeth; kids with distinct birthmarks; kids with frizzy, curly hair and kids with straight, smooth braids – even kids with missing or malfunctioning limbs – all come together as friends, and no one thinks twice about it.

3.Try everything. They are so willing to obey this particular maxim that counselors are even able to take advantage of them. When the staff are too tired to chase around the kids, a popular alternative at camp is to encourage them to play the Viking Game – where you close your eyes and “pretend you’re a Viking” for as long as possible. Believe me, it never sounds fun to an energetic elementary schooler. They’re not even sure what a Viking really does. But most of them gave it a shot anyway, when you ask them to, and with a positive attitude no less. How many of us can say we give our all to that stuff we really don’t want to do, but are asked to do anyway (for example, general education classes)?

4.Forgive and forget. Yes, the idiom exists in grown-up talk, but we don’t always obey. In fact, we rarely do. And yet, if my little campers were to stumble across the word “grudge” in a book or something and I were to attempt explaining the concept, my efforts would surely be futile. It never makes sense to them to stay mad for more than five or six minutes. By the end of the summer, they usually go home able to say they are friends with virtually everyone in their cabin. They are definitely not able to say that they did not fight with anyone. In this light, they demonstrate more maturity than any college student.

5.Play the field. New staff members are always surprised to discover how much interest 8- and 9-year-olds take in having a boyfriend or girlfriend. (Interestingly, as I mentioned before, they despise the opposite sex. But of course that doesn’t stop them from dating! Sound familiar?) However, their “relationships” never, ever last more than a few hours. They know better than to tie themselves down when they’re still young when so much else could be out there. Somebody tell that to those guys on “Engaged and Underage.”

6.Hear each other out. In activities where they were required to create something together (like a song or poster), certain campers threw out all kinds of crazy ideas. “Let’s write a cabin song to the tune of ‘Happy Birthday!'” someone might say, or “Let’s use the paint meant for our cabin banner to decorate each other’s clothing!” They might shoot each other down less-than-tactfully, which is partially why staff is needed. But they never completely gave up on each other. They always allowed each other second, third, fourth chances to contribute to the group. Isn’t patience a virtue or something?

7.Speaking of virtues: Be honest. The lie “No, you don’t look fat” almost never hurts. But when a friend asks if you’re mad at her, do not respond “No” with one of those subtle smirks. If your buddy asks you if he should try out for basketball and he’s terrible, give him your sincere advice. (Now what my campers haven’t mastered is the art of tact.)

Good luck – it’s tough business taking advice from a child. I know I hesitated. But every so often, those mischief-makers really do know what they’re doing.

Tell Carolyn about your childhood at ceg36@pitt.edu.