College’s best lessons found outside classroom

We’re graduating, and it’s depressing. This emotional anxiety and confusion is a feeling that… We’re graduating, and it’s depressing. This emotional anxiety and confusion is a feeling that everyone on this campus is bound to face when the time comes to say goodbye to Pitt. For our last column ever, we decided to evaluate our personal experiences over the last four years and explain the most valuable relationship lessons we’ve learned. It may be a little sappy, but it’s all true.

1) The key to meeting your match is to get involved.

LA: I’d say that a sure fire way to meet people is to get involved on campus, and for me, this came from the greek community. When I first came to college, I was extremely skeptical about sororities and had a lot of preconceived notions and stereotypes about greek life. Looking back now, it was probably the best decision that I have ever made. In addition to helping me develop my leadership skills and pushing me to get involved on campus, it worked wonders for my social life. Fewer than 10 percent of students are involved in the greek community at Pitt, which made this huge campus seem so much smaller and led me to develop truly invaluable friendships and life-changing relationships that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

LERCH: Though I definitely agree with going greek, I acknowledge that it’s not for everyone. Lucky for all you independents out there, there are a million other ways to meet people on campus through other organizations such as Pathfinders, Pitt Program Council, The Pitt News and so many more. The point here is to get involved as much as possible because it is sure to improve your social life and will likely present new opportunities for love.

2) Put your friends first.

LERCH: Friendship is the most important asset that you gain from the college experience. Be sure to create as many memories as possible with each of your closest friends and spend time with them that doesn’t involve your significant other. A great way that I developed my college friendships was going on spring break with my friends – and without my girlfriends. Spring break trips gave me the opportunity to do absurd, ridiculous and potentially regretful things with my friends, but those memories will last forever. It doesn’t even matter where you go on these kinds of trips, it’s just who you’re with that matters. And don’t forget, these friends are the ones who are going to cheer you up by introducing you to some really hot new girl after your girlfriend breaks up with you, so make them your number one priority.

LA: I don’t like to think of myself as someone who was ever neglectful of her friends, but looking back now, I wish I had put less energy into boys and more energy into friends. Whether you are in or out of a relationship, your close friends will be your constant. Any advice they give you is out of genuine concern and love, and though sometimes the truth hurts, listen to them. They certainly won’t always be right, but it’s important to not be so blinded by romantic love that you forget about platonic love. No matter how perfect your relationship seems, heartbreak happens, and your friends are the ones that will wipe away your tears and take you out for strong cocktails when it does. Treasure that.

3) Be a little bit selfish.

LA: College is a truly life-altering experience, and though you’ll develop all kinds of relationships along the way, it’s really all about getting to know yourself. In terms of relationships, you need to make yourself and your own personal happiness your number one priority. Caring for and loving another person does not mean making sacrifices to your own personality or trying to make changes to his or hers. If a relationship isn’t working out, don’t agonize over trying to fix or change the other person, because no one is able to change or grow until they are ready. Be honest with yourself about who you really are and the rest will fall into place.

LERCH: I think this idea of putting yourself first ties in a lot with the idea of putting your friends before your relationships. It’s not so much about being selfish, because obviously putting yourself before everything else in your life will get you nowhere, but it’s about knowing what is really best for you as a person. If you are too concerned with what other people think and with pleasing others, you will not be able to maintain any long-lasting relationships, because you will never be completely content with yourself. While you should always be there to support the people you care about, you have to be honest about how you are being affected as a person.

4) Play the field in moderation.

LERCH: Though it can be fun to hook up with tons of different people and never settle down, I feel that it is necessary to at least attempt to hold down a relationship sometime during college. Relationships are tremendous experiences that have the ability to help you learn about yourself and other people. Although there are no guarantees, you could also end up meeting the person who you will end up in a long-term relationship with after graduation. On the other hand, playing the field can be really beneficial to a certain degree. Though I have never really practiced this concept of moderation whether it pertains to eating, drinking or girls, I think it is true that you don’t want to overdo it. Still, dating different people pretty much ensures that you will eventually find the person who puts a huge cheesy grin on your face.

LA: I stayed in my first college relationship for too long, mostly because it was comfortable and easy. After that, I realized how important it is to take time to re-evaluate your relationship from time to time to make sure it’s really what you want. If it isn’t, then say something – fast. Of course it is hard to be honest with someone you care about knowing that he may end up heartbroken, but the sooner you are honest, the sooner he will be able to move on. Also, don’t stay in one relationship throughout all of college. Take some time to enjoy single life, meet new people and test the waters so you know what you really want out of a relationship in the long run.

5) Live it up while you still can.

LA: When I was a freshman, I remember one of my senior friends telling me to cherish every moment that I had here at Pitt because before I knew it, it would be over. Man, was she right. It’s almost like I blinked and the past four years breezed right by. Your time here is short, so don’t waste it on anything that you will regret later. If you are unhappy in a relationship, end it. If you have severed ties with someone you cherish, fix it. Preserve your reputation while still playing the field, party hard while still maintaining that classy GPA and take the time to enjoy everything that college life has to offer. I am so thankful to the teachers, leaders, friends, boyfriends, bartenders and even those few random hookups that I have encountered at Pitt. It is because of them that I am proud to say that I am taking away just as much from my social life as from what I learned in the classroom.

LERCH: I truly feel like I have lived the dream for the past four years and wouldn’t change a thing if I could do it all over again. I really hope that everyone who makes it to graduation ends up feeling the same way. To quote the great Tom Petty and one of our good friends, “I’ve learned one thing, and that’s to quit worrying about stupid things. Relax. Work is for those people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time but you’ll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. Stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you don’t have. Drink ’til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does.”

E-mail your top relationship lessons to pittnewslword@gmail.com.