Students get tips on how to break up

First put into lyrics in 1962 by Neil Sedaka and followed by other musicians since then,… First put into lyrics in 1962 by Neil Sedaka and followed by other musicians since then, everyone seems many agree on one facet of relationships: Breaking up is hard to do.

Because of this notion, the University Counseling Center felt fit to conclude its three-part relationship lecture series last Thursday night with “Breaking up: How do you do it or how to cope if it happens to you.”

Presented by counselors Iruaku Brodie-Mends, Christine Larson and Rami Rao, the presentation drew more than 20 students in a round-table discussion and lecture about signs to look for in a failing relationship, relationship management and handling the stresses associated with breaking up.

Attendees were first given a chart with healthy and unhealthy characteristics of relationships in two columns. They were then asked to find points that surprised them.

“I’m kind of surprised about controlling your own money,” one student said. “I thought that once you were married, it belonged to both of you.”

Following that question, several questions were brought up concerning family acceptance of one’s significant other and interracial relationships.

Soon after, Rao spoke about possible benefits of ending a relationship.

“Breaking up is really natural because rejection isn’t rejection – it’s selection,” she said. “Each of you have the choice to select who you want to be with.”

Rao then went on to speak about the chances taken in relationships.

“Breaking up is a risk, but it’s a risk you have to take when entering the world of romantic love.”

Brodie-Mends agreed.

“Whenever you love anybody – even family members – you always risk loss.”

The lecture then went into the subjects of compatibility, mutual respect and why relationships tend to fail. In this section, participants were given daisies with phrases on each pedal like “Fulfills promises” and “Asks how your day went” and they were asked to see which pedals would they keep that described their relationships.

Students were also given worksheets with character-trait descriptions on them and were asked to circle both the positive and negative traits of their significant others. Rao also suggested seeking advice from close friends, too.

“It’s not fair to you or the other person to only remember the good times,” Rao said. “Ask other people you trust and see what they think about how healthy your relationship is.”

The relationship workshop concluded with a 10-minute clip from the movie, “The Breakup.” When the clip ended, students discussed how the two main characters coped with their relationship’s ending. Brodie-Mends felt that the two characters showed many examples of what not to do, but then she opened up her insight to conclude the lecture series.

“Even when you know a relationship should end, it’s OK to be hesitant,” she said. “But it’s not all right for too long. That’s why we’re here to help you.”