Misconceptions about opposite sex abundant

We decided to make this issue of “The L Word” a bit more interactive, so we asked Pitt… We decided to make this issue of “The L Word” a bit more interactive, so we asked Pitt students what questions or frustrations they had about the opposite sex

Q: Do girls like it when guys “spit game,” or is it unnecessary?

LA: It depends how you define “spitting game.” It’s definitely nice to feel like a guy is making a conscious effort to give you attention, but I’d say that most of the lines that you spit are fairly pointless. Cheesy or perverted pick up lines are generally ineffective and can sometimes come off as offensive, and you certainly don’t want to offend a girl that you might be interested in. Still, put in some effort by flirting, playfully teasing and turning on the humor and charm. Little games like this are all in good fun and can attract the right amount of attention, as long as they are done tastefully and in moderation.

LERCH: Like the great Jay-Z once said, “So necessary.”

Q: Why are men at this age so afraid of commitment?

LERCH: Basically it’s because of our current situation – college. And though I think it may seem like it, it’s not just men who are afraid to commit at this age. I feel this situation applies to a lot of women, too. We are all in college, and it’s tough to exclusively date. You might date someone for a while, but it’s tough to stay committed because most people want to have fun, and a lot of guys associate that with being single and hooking up with different people. I think that if you are looking for a guy in college who wants to commit, your best bet is to seek out someone who is older, perhaps in his senior year, who might be beginning to think about a career and life beyond college. That’s the point where a lot of men actually become nervous about their future with women because meeting girls at college is a lot easier than it is in the adult social scene. But don’t take that time frame as a guarantee, because some guys want to use their last year of college as a single party and don’t want to be tied down.

LA: I agree and think that committed relationships can’t really be planned out. I also think that though we are all terrified of graduating and growing up, guys are just more willing to admit it and use it as an excuse not to commit.

Q: Why do girls like tall guys?

LA: I thought this question was a little odd at first, but when I talked to some other guys about it, everyone seemed a bit curious. Just like any physical characteristic, I don’t think a girl ever likes a guy purely based on his height. It just happens to be something that is often an initial physical attraction, perhaps because taller guys sometimes stand out in a crowd. I’m also sure that it has something to do with the classic notion of a woman wanting to feel protected and the stereotype that a taller man will make her safe. But just like a lot of those outdated notions, times are changing. The key here is to be secure in your height, whatever it is. Guys who are of average height know it and feel comfortable about it. Shorter guys often seem to wish that they were taller (asking their ladies not to wear heels, for example) and really tall guys seem to desire a bit less height. Confidence will go a long way on either end of the spectrum. I really don’t think height is as big of a deal as you think.

Q: What is the most effective way to get noticed by a guy for the right reasons?

LERCH: The key here is to stand out among other girls. Most girls get recognized by a guy because, in a social situation, we scope out the entire scene and she happens to catch our eye. In order for a girl to claim that attention, she has to appear interesting and available, but not in an overly slutty way. She must be able to carry on a conversation and impress us with her personality without making herself seem like she is easy. It’s also important to be genuine and not try to be someone you’re not. Once you have our full attention, you can start to play hard to get. Most men are competitive, and making yourself seem a bit unavailable will make us want you even more. But don’t push the “hard-to-get” act too far, or a guy might end up feeling rejected and will eventually just give up.

Q: Why isn’t it possible for girls to have recreational sex?

LA: First of all, it is unfair for men to assume that women like sex any less than they do. That being said, I wouldn’t say that it is impossible for ladies to have casual sex, just that many girls don’t prefer it. Besides the obvious notions of the risks of recreational sex (STDs, pregnancy, etc.), it’s common for women tend to admit to being emotionally attached and frankly, a lot of us just don’t want to get hurt. Also, if a girl does end up having casual sex, she always seems to take the heat and build up a promiscuous reputation, which doesn’t happen to guys nearly as often. But most of all, I think the majority of girls consider sex to be something special and emotionally binding, which it is what we’ve been taught it’s supposed to be.

LERCH: It’s true that sex is supposed to be special and emotional. It’s just hard for guys to see why it is impossible for it to be a purely physical act with no strings attached. If either party feels like they are getting emotionally attached and the other party doesn’t feel the same way, you’ve got to break it

Q: Why don’t you call when you say you will, and why is texting more preferred by guys these days?

LERCH: The first reason that we don’t call is most likely because of a lack of interest. It’s possible that we were just trying to be nice when we spoke those oh-so-promising words last night, or that we were so intoxicated that we thought it was a good idea at the time. If you give us your number and we are genuinely interested, we will use it. For the girls who get an actual phone call, congratulations, because in these days, you probably are more likely to get a text. To be honest, it’s a lot easier to text a girl instead of calling her the next day. It’s less personal so there is less risk of rejection