Girls should respect themselves, dress appropriately

Ladies, put down your glasses – it’s our standards we’re raising this time.

For so many… Ladies, put down your glasses – it’s our standards we’re raising this time.

For so many years, women have fought to be viewed as three-dimensional human beings, with opinions, character traits and personalities. For so many years, it’s been men that needed convincing that we’re more than “just fun to look at.” But I’ve finally come to realize that in the 21st century, it’s our own gender that needs the convincing.

By posing seductively on the Internet, rolling into the party with cleavage displayed up to our chins and covering ourselves in layers of mascara and foundation, we send the wrong message. Not only do we objectify ourselves, but we almost prove that we like it that way.

When did that happen? When did women start taking pride in lacking depth? Yes, some may argue that flaunting our bodies and outer beauty is just a less traditional way of showing pride. But that is simply not the case. By letting it all hang out, so to speak, we might as well wear the word “insecurity” on a banner around our shoulders.

It is possible to be pretty without being pathetic, sexy without being skanky. Those who have not or choose not to master the ability to differentiate themselves demonstrate a complete lack of faith in their own intelligence. For young women especially, how we present ourselves physically speaks volumes about our entire personalities, whether we want it to or not. We look shallow and naive showing too much skin or physical attributes. I’m ready to see more of my peers recognize this.

If your one goal in life is admittedly to attract men – sad but acceptable – you’re still not doing yourself any favors by using methods like dressing poorly. A portion of the population is indeed thrilled when we shake our groove thangs on the dance floor or “grind up on that pole.” But most will agree that the best label for that portion is “immature little boys.” They may have the ability to wine and dine us and win us over, but we shouldn’t really have any kind of desire to be wooed by them. We should not be impressed with those whose interests in us are peaked by our looks.

Others might insist that they “boast their good looks” because that’s how they maintain their confidence, forgetting what any feminist – or man – has to say about it. And if you truly are posing in your bikini because you feel you have nowhere else to turn to up your self-esteem, that’s fine. High self-esteem is a goal worth attaining. But you’re boasting idiocy in your own way, just as girls who show off for guys might be. We have other assets. We are artists, athletes, activists. Anyone who finds her greatest source of personal assurance to be her body isn’t using all available brain cells.

Old-fashioned words that rhyme with “shmeminism” may automatically send you packing, but please, pause for a second. Dozens of modern women in the spotlight today receive recognition – even for their looks – without going so far as to create exhibits of themselves. Nicole Kidman, for example, is able to establish an aura of beauty without ever strutting, batting her eyelashes or pouting at the camera. Ladies, it can be done.

If attention is what we want, there are far better ways of obtaining it than letting our underwear hang out. We’re smarter than that. Undeniably, the overwhelming majority of the population enjoys being complimented on their looks – it’s natural and probably somehow biologically programmed into our existence. But once we start downright begging for those compliments – which is exactly what we do sometimes – the value of those compliments decreases significantly. We have no reason or right to be appreciative of the interest peaked only by practically fastballing ourselves at the rest of the world.

Those who objectify themselves look like idiots to those that matter: self-respecting women and men alike. And when we boast Facebook or MySpace profile pictures that are essentially glamour shots of our fabulous tans, when we burst into the club (or class) more naked than clothed, when we don’t demand the highest standards of class, we are telling the world to please view us as physical objects.

We’re also telling the world that we’re so eager to get noticed that we don’t have the time or energy, or even the intelligence, to recognize our less superficial attributes.

Wear stilettos. Pull off red lipstick. Dance. But know when, where and most importantly, why we have to draw the line.

To the wise words of British philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft, I propose a toast: “I do not wish [women] to have power over men,” she says, “but over themselves.”