Stupid is as stupid does when it comes to fans

I suck at cooking, so much so that I’d be hard-pressed to criticize someone else’s cooking…. I suck at cooking, so much so that I’d be hard-pressed to criticize someone else’s cooking. But when I go to a restaurant, I set much higher standards. Chefs, by nature of their profession, should be able to serve me food of a much higher quality than I could make for myself.

Sadly, we all know that restaurant food can not only fail to live up to our expectations, but can also be down right nasty at times. I was once served a steak so dry and burnt that all of the A-1, mushrooms and onions in the world couldn’t make it half-decent. When this happens, I don’t throw a fit. I don’t swear at the chef and tell him that he sucks at his job. Instead, I pay the bill and leave, and possibly give acquaintances my bad review so that they don’t also fall victim to a poor or inexperienced chef.

For the less passive, another appropriate route would be to explain to the waiter or waitress that your dish is sub-par and you would appreciate your money back or the opportunity to place another order. Whichever way you choose to react, causing a scene and degrading those who may or may not be directly responsible probably isn’t going to solve anything and will only make you look like a jerk.

Speaking of jerks, I had the unfortunate experience of sitting only inches from one at a Pitt men’s basketball game. No, this was not a drunk student in the Oakland Zoo. It was a grown man. I was sitting in the upper level and was excited to watch from a different perspective than the student section. Whenever the Panthers struggled, the guy next to me made sure everyone was aware of it, as though we didn’t have eyes of our own.

He loudly articulated his opinions with creative phrases like “Quit playing with your head up your butt,” and other original sayings like “You suck.” Maybe this would have been slightly, but only slightly, less obnoxious if he was bellowing such insults to the opposition as opposed to the home team. What a great fan.

Before I was able to get a look at him, I thought to myself, “I better be sitting next to Dwayne Wade or Steve Nash” – professionals who thoroughly understand the game and know what it’s like to play college basketball. Perhaps it would make more sense for such people, who have been there and done that, to be more critical than the average observer. But no, the man sitting next to me was a frumpy, middle-aged man, weighing in at about 250 pounds and standing only a couple inches taller than me at about 5-foot-7. Clearly not an athlete – I’d guess the only thing he dunks is his doughnuts in the morning.

So really, who is he to criticize? I understand that he paid good money to go to the Pitt game, but so did everyone else around him, and I’m sure I speak for many people when I say that his loud and belligerent insults made an otherwise awesome experience a little less pleasant. Also, why did he think what he was saying had the least bit of relevance? There’s a good reason why Jamie Dixon is the coach and he is not.

When you’re a loyal fan, getting angry and frustrated when your team isn’t performing to its potential is natural, especially when your team is so talented and you know they can do better. But we always have to remember that we watch for the love of the game; we’re fans – fans that are supposed to support our teams through thick and thin.

There are many ways to enjoy a sporting event. If screaming obscenities and insulting the players is how you like to enjoy it, then perhaps you should enjoy the game in your own home or a place more appropriate, like a bar, so you don’t bother those around you or teach any little kids some new vocabulary words.

As the jerk next to me continued to degrade the players, I couldn’t help but wonder how he could possibly get any satisfaction by insulting college students who were half his age. It’s not as though he was insulting professional athletes who make millions of dollars to play the sport they love for a living. Instead, he was insulting young adults – who are probably the age of his kids, if he has them – many of whom are playing for the love of the game.

That made me wonder: Would he confront a Pitt basketball player with those same insults outside of the game setting in the street? I’m not implying that they would react violently, but it’s easy to be ballsy when separated by dozens of rows of seats, thousands of people and security.

One of the greatest things about sports is their ability to unite people, but all it takes is one obnoxious jerk in close proximity to lessen the experience. And we all know that if you don’t have something nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Perhaps the same should be extended to sporting events: If you can’t cheer nicely, don’t cheer at all.

Ever share a section with “that fan” at a sporting event? E-mail Anjali at amn17@pitt.edu.