Cats vs. kids and settling down

All around me, it seems like everyone is settling down.

Before Christmas, my mother… All around me, it seems like everyone is settling down.

Before Christmas, my mother informed me of a “cute family present” she was working on. Considering that each of my siblings is married and has at least one child, she had decided to make matching sets of flannel pajamas for all of them.

A blue set for my brother and my 2-year-old nephew, a multi-colored polka dot set for my sister and her toddler daughter, and a pastel striped number for my sister-in-law and my 1-year-old niece.

She presented me with a pair of fleece pants that were a trial run for this project, and I assumed that would be the extent of my participation in the “family gift.” You know, another gentle reminder of my singledom and lack of offspring. Jokingly, I asked her if she was working on a matching set for my future cats and me.

I forgot about the family gift until Christmas morning, when I noticed, after all the gifts were opened, that there was still a stack that was tied together with ribbon, waiting to be opened.

Mom could barely contain her excitement as she distributed the gifts to each of her kids and their spouses, and I was surprised when one of the wrapped boxes was placed in my hands.

My siblings and in-laws cooed over their adorable matching pajama sets. I barely noticed because I was busy staring speechlessly into my own opened gift. Inside sat a pair of bright pink flannel pants covered with white kittens. As if this wasn’t bad enough, next to them was a tiny matching pair.

My mother made me cat pants. I’m going to be a crazy cat lady.

She insisted that the matching pair were for my nieces to wear whenever they visit. Sure, Mom. Whatever makes you feel better about justifying your daughter’s biggest fear of owning 80 cats and dressing them up in little outfits for fun.

To make matters worse, later that day, while I was participating in a raucous round of Circle of Death – my family’s favorite drinking game since I introduced it last Thanksgiving – I received a text message from my best childhood friend.

“Wanted you to be the first to know – I just got engaged.”

And since the beginning of my final year at Pitt, I can rattle off a list of about 10 other couples who have decided to spend the rest of their lives together. Holy heck. I guess they have plans for Valentine’s Day. Well, plans that don’t involve booze, an inordinate amount of fattening food and horror flicks, at least.

Although I can’t fathom the thought of getting married anytime soon, that doesn’t mean that these couples haven’t made the right decisions for themselves. Of course, when it comes to the ultimate answers, I turn to the almighty Internet to weigh in on the pros and cons.

The majority of positives of marrying young deal with bearing children. This relates mostly to women, because of the window of time during which we can have biological children. With the pressures of attending college, getting a job and establishing independence, the time to find a mate and procreate is decreasing significantly. This is why now, according to Social Studies blogger Po Bronson, a fifth of women never have children, where 30 years ago, only a tenth of women never bore children.

But at least we don’t abide by the “Little House On the Prairie” method of marriage to ensure offspring. I don’t know what I would have done if, at the tender age of 13, I was married off to middle-aged Farmer Bob down the hollow. Sounds fair to me – go sow your wild oats, Farmer Bob, then steal my youth. All of the couples I know who recently got engaged are roughly the same age, and the decision to marry was a mutual one.

There are down sides to marrying young, however, and the biggest is typically divorce. If a marriage is hastily entered into without serious thought and preparation, you don’t want those children you were able to bear to suffer the consequences. Remember, too, you’re not just marrying an individual when you say, “I do,” you’re also marrying his or her entire family. Regardless of how in love you may be, huge disputes within the family can wear on a relationship. I suggest going for an orphan.

Considering that the majority of the engaged couples that I know are intelligent, level-headed individuals, I’m sure they have weighed these pros and cons. I hope to look to them in the future as an example, just in case the whole crazy-cat-lady lifestyle falls through and I end up getting married or something equally wild.

Perhaps I’ve had a skewed perception of what it means to settle. Maybe settling down is really picking up and starting again, just in a different direction and with a new understanding of oneself.

I still made my mother promise not to let me have more than two cats.

E-mail Jessica at jrp32@pitt.edu.